


Safe

by olgushka



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Caring!Josh, Christmas, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Smut, New Year's Eve, Slow Build, Strangers to Lovers, TOPFL Christmas Challenge, homeless!Tyler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 06:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12882135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olgushka/pseuds/olgushka
Summary: Tyler is one step away from losing hope. Josh happens.





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Russian translation available [**here**](https://ficbook.net/readfic/6594483).

Tyler’s hunger grows with every passing minute and his constantly growling stomach starts driving him crazy. He hadn’t eaten anything in two days - maybe besides that small piece of a bagel some little girl accidentally dropped on the pavement without her mother noticing. He curses himself for spending his last money on coffee but he knows that it would be hard to survive another winter night without having anything warm to drink. 

He’s cold and he doesn’t have any change to buy himself food. His hoodie and a thin jacket barely keep him warm anymore and it’s getting more and more difficult to move his toes in his worn out Converse. There are holes in the soles of the shoes and his feet keep getting wet from walking around so much. There’s nothing better to do anyway, and he needs to keep moving if he doesn’t want to freeze to death, although the idea of dying is tempting.

It’s the first day of December and the streets are annoyingly Christmassy: there are Christmas trees everywhere, fairy lights in every window and street musicians playing stupid Christmas carols. When he looks up, he realizes that it started snowing again. _I could go to fucking California_ , he thinks and scowls. 

He’s about to turn around and get back to his hideaway when he notices _the target_ : there’s a young, tall guy standing next to the toy store entrance, looking through the shop window. He’s dressed in a black winter jacket with a fur-trimmed hood, dark pants, black military boots and a gray beanie. Tyler notices a few reddish locks curling on his forehead and a nose ring. 

But the way he looks is not the only thing that catches Tyler’s attention. It’s also something else: a wallet, sticking out of the back pocket of the guy’s jeans. Tyler shivers and clenches his fists. 

He’s hungry. _I’m not a thief_. 

He’s cold. _I’m not a thief._

He’s desperate. _I’m not a thief_. 

His stomach growls again and the muscles clench, making him double over in pain. It’s too much, it’s all too much and he feels like crying but he manages to take a few deep breaths to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. When he looks up again, _the target_ is still there - standing in the same spot, typing something on his phone. 

_Fuck this_ , Tyler thinks, _happy birthday to me_. Before he can stop himself, he rushes forward and crashes into the guy, almost knocking him over. Before the other man fully realizes what happened, Tyler snatches the wallet out of his pocket and quickly hides it under his own jacket. When he finally looks at the guy, he makes the most apologetic face he can manage.

„Oh God, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you. I should have watched where I was going. Sorry again.”

„Hey, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it!” The stranger laughs, offering him one of the most beautiful smiles Tyler has even seen. He realizes that no one has smiled at him in such a genuine way in a long time. „No harm done. I’m still in one piece.”

It makes Tyler want to burst into tears in front of the guy he’s never seen before, give the wallet back and beg for forgiveness. But before the feeling of guilt can completely take over, he turns on his heel and runs across the street, all the way to his hiding place. His home.

 _Home_. His home is now an abandoned building that once was a school. There are no doors and no windows but his tiny corner in an old classroom where he keeps all of his belongings, successfully protects his from the wind. It’s enough. 

Tyler doesn’t live there alone. He’s aware that there are other homeless people living in the buiding but he tries to avoid them most of the time. Even if they pass him by somewhere in the area, they act like he doesn’t exist and he always does the same. They never talk. They never even glance at each other. 

He sits down on his bed made of old dirty blankets and cardboard boxes, and takes a closer look at the wallet. It’s a simple dark brown leather wallet – there’s nothing unusual about it. 

He exhales and peeks inside. _I’m a thief_. 

He almost drops it to the ground when he notices the amount of cash and two debit cards. _I’m a thief._

He finds the stranger’s ID (and finds out that the guy’s name is actually Joshua William Dun and he’s twenty seven years old), his driving licence, blood donor card, some gift cards and a couple of photos. He checks Josh’s address and realizes that he lives only twenty minutes away from the city center by foot. 

He looks at the cash again. His stomach turns upside down and this time he knows it’s not because of hunger. _I’m a thief_. 

He’s disgusted with himself.

 

„Are you sure you won’t be able to make it?”

„Ashley, I’ve already told you.” Josh says, balancing the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, furiously searching through his things.

„The whole family will be there.”

„That’s the point.”

„Mom will be devastated.” Ashley tries again.

„Mom will be fine. She will focus on telling everyone about her yoga sessions and won’t even notice that her least favorite son is not there. Just tell her I can’t take any days off.” He sighs and rubs his hand over his face. „Crap.”

„What?”

„I can’t find my wallet.” He says, looking around the living room again.

„I’m not surprised. Your place is a mess.”

„My whole life is a mess.” He mumbles to himself but then speaks louder again. „It’s just… I’m sure I had it with me last night when I was on my way home from work. I thought it was still in the pocket of my pants. It’s not there.”

„Check around the apartment again. It’s probably somewhere else.” Ashley offers in a slightly bored voice.

„Probably.” Josh agrees. „Look, Ash. I gotta go. I need to leave to work in a few minutes.”

„Alright, big brother. Please, rethink your decision. If you change your mind, there’s still one spare plane ticket waiting for you.”

A knock on the door echoes through the apartment a few seconds after Josh ends the call. He’s not in the mood to listen to another round of complaining about his late night drumming sessions (the room is soundproofed but sometimes he forgets to close the door so the neighbors are still complaining) but he makes his way to the door. He opens it with an apology already forming on his lips but surprisingly, there’s no one in sight. He steps outside and looks around the hallway, expecting it to be some kind of prank but nothing happens. He starts to walk backwards inside but then he almost trips over something and when he looks down at his doormat, his jaw drops. It’s a wallet. His wallet.

The cash and his debit cards are still there, everything is in the right place but there’s also something more, something that wasn’t there before: a dirty, folded piece of paper, filled with a messy handwritting.

 _I AM SORRY_ , the note says, _I PICKPOCKED YOU BUT I WAS HUNGRY AND DESPERATE. I ONLY TOOK SOME CHANGE TO BUY MYSELF THE CHEAPEST BURGER AND A CUP OF TEA. I’M SORRY AGAIN._

„Huh.” He frowns, looking down an empty staircase.

 

The whole thing seems to be forgotten until two days later when Josh rushes through the city to get to work. He’s already late but it’s not his fault that his phone decided to die in the middle of the night and the alarm never went off. He’s taking a shortcut through the local park and passes by a small frozen pond when he notices a young guy standing close to the edge. He’s looking at ducks with a blank expression on his face and his hands hidden deep inside the pockets of his jacket. His clothes and a backpack look familiar. 

Josh shrugs and ignores the weird feeling but then it hits him – it’s the same boy who bumped into him in front of the toy store. Forgetting about work, he gets closer to the stranger. When he’s only a few feet away and about to say hi, the boy glances at him quizzically. At first he doesn’t react but then his eyes widen and all the color drains from his face. He starts to back away, tripping over in the process and falling on his butt in the snow. Josh’s first instinct tells him to help the boy so he takes a step forward and reaches out to him but the stranger crawls away in hurry, getting his clothes even more wet.

„I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, What I did was wrong, I know, please, don’t call the police!”

„No, wait-”

„I’m sorry!” The boy yells, gets up to his feet and runs away.

Josh doesn’t even care about the reprimand he gets from his boss for being late when he finally arrives to work. He doesn’t care about screwing up two orders and getting death glares from his co-worker when it’s her who gets yelled at for Josh’s mistakes. He can’t stop thinking about the boy, he can’t stop thinking about his terrified eyes, dirty clothes and old shoes that are definitely not meant for the winter time.

 

Even if Josh tries to find him, carefully scanning his surroundings every day on his way to work and on the way back home, a whole week passes before he sees him again. 

It’s his day off and he’s on his way to pick up some groceries when Josh finds the boy - he’s standing on the empty bridge, looking down at the river. Recognizing him is not difficult since he wears the same exact clothes and shoes. Without thinking too much, Josh turns on his heel and walks into McDonald’s, quickly ordering a few random things from the menu. The cashier gives him a long strange look but he only shrugs innocently, pays for the food and after wishing her a good day, he leaves and walks towards the bridge again. 

Josh lets out a sigh of relief when he realizes that the boy is still there, just in a different spot this time. He approaches him slowly, hoping not to scare him off but when the guy notices him, he tries to flee. He lets go of the railing and gets ready to run but Josh grabs him by the sleeve of his jacket just in time. It makes the stranger yelp in surprise. 

„Please, wait!” Josh says quickly. „Please! I will not call the cops, I promise. You’re safe with me. I just wanted to say hi. Can we talk?” He asks. The boy stares at him for a long moment but then hesitantly nods his head. „Okay. Come on. Let’s find a place to sit. What’s your name?”

„T-Tyler.” The boy mumbles, keeping his eyes on the ground.

„Nice to meet you, Tyler. I’m Josh.”

„I know.”

„Oh. Right.” Josh chuckles. When they approach an empty bench, Josh brushes off the snow and invites Tyler to sit down. „Look, I had no idea what you like so I just bought a few different things. There are, uhm… chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, fries and a few more things. Oh, and something to drink too.” He hands the paper bag to the boy and pulls a bottle of apple juice out of the pocket of his jacket. „I know it’s not the healthiest food in the world but at least it’s something warm.”

Tyler peeks sheepishly inside the bag but then looks up at Josh again. 

„But-” 

„Please, help yourself. You must be hungry.”

„Why are you doing this?” Tyler asks quietly, swallowing hard when the smell of food reaches his nostrils but Josh only shrugs. „Can we share, though?” The boy looks at him with wide eyes. „It’s too much. There’s no way I will eat everything.”

„It’s okay. Eat as much as you want and the rest you can save for later.”

„Oh. Thank you.” Tyler whispers.

They sit in silence while Tyler shoves the food into his mouth. Once he feels full, he carefully wraps the bag and hides it under his jacket, offering Josh a small smile. 

 

After that short encounter, sharing food with Tyler becomes Josh’s daily routine. Every time when he’s on his way to work and he notices the boy on the street, he buys him something to eat or shares his own breakfast. Sometimes he hands him a bag of food with a smile and sometimes - when he spots Tyler sitting somewhere, unmoving and lost in thought - he silently leaves it next to the boy. 

They don’t talk much during their meetings. Josh tries to make him talk a few times but Tyler never keeps the conversation going. It seems like he still doesn’t trust Josh enough, so he communicates with him mostly by nodding or shaking his head. He always whispers a short _thank you_ after taking the bag and pressing it to his chest like the most valuable possesion and usually, before Josh can blink, disappears in the crowd. 

 

It’s one week before Christmas when Tyler sits in his usual spot in the park. This time he’s aware of his surroundings and when he hears the rustling sound of the paper bag next to him, he quickly turns around. Josh is already walking away.

„Wait!” He calls out.

The other man stops and looks at Tyler, smiling brightly.

„Hey. What’s up?”

„This has to stop.”

„What do you mean?” Josh’s face falls. He frowns.

„This. You. Buying me food. You have to stop. This needs to stop.” 

„Why?” Josh comes closer and sits down next to him, staring at him with a surprised expression on his face. This is probably the most Tyler has ever said to him.

„You buy me something every day. With your own money. You’ve already spent a ridiculous amount of dollars on me. I feel bad.” Tyler says and hangs his head, avoiding Josh’s gaze.

„Don’t worry about it.” Josh smiles again.

„No, you don’t understand. I can’t give you anything back.”

„Tyler, it’s not-”

„Josh, please.” Tyler sighs. „ _Please_.” He hands the paper bag back to Josh, gets up and walks away with tears gathering in his eyes.

He can’t let this go on. People like Josh don’t exist - they don’t do anything disinterestedly, they don’t do anything without not expecting something in return. In this short amount of time Josh has became his personal guardian angel but Tyler knows it’s only a matter of days before his saviour will want something back and he can’t let it happen. He can’t let himself get attached just to have his heart crushed a moment later.

For the next few days Tyler avoids him a much as he can. He doesn’t show up in places Josh usually passes on his way to work and begs for coins in different parts of the city. People from the suburbs are less willing to give him any money than those from the city center so he eventually comes back to the more crowded area. He spots Josh on the street sometimes and knows that the other man has seen him a few times as well but Josh keeps his distance and never approaches him.

 

Three days before Christmas, Josh finds Tyler sitting on his favorite wooden bench in the park. He’s tired of pretending not to know who the boy is so he comes closer and stops right in front of him. Tyler doesn’t look up, staying focused on forming a perfectly round snowball in his bare hands. 

„Hi.” Josh offers.

„Hi.” The boy mumbles, keeping his gaze down.

„Aren’t you hungry?”

„No.”

„Are you sure?”

„One hundred percent.”

„Okay.”

„Do you need anything in particular?” Tyler hisses through his clenched teeth. „I’m kinda busy.”

„Busy?” Josh almost laughs but stops himself before any suspicious sound comes out of his throat.

„Yeah.”

„Alright. Look, I was meaning to ask you this for a while now but I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject.” Josh says, nervously kicking the snow.

„Shoot.”

„Would you like to go to my apartment with me to-” He gets cut off by a loud gasp.

Tyler looks up at him and goes through every possible stage of emotions. At first, a wave of terror flashes through his eyes. Then he looks disappointed. Then he looks angry and ready to explode.

„That was all about it, wasn’t it?” Tyler asks angrily and stands up. „ _I’ll buy you food and pretend I want nothing in return but one day I’ll actually insist on putting my dick up your ass as a payment_? You’re disgusting!” The boy yells and throws the snowball at Josh. It hits him straight in the arm and leaves a big white spot on his black jacket. „Fuck you!” Tyler turns on his heel and walks away. 

„Tyler, wait!” Josh jogs after him and stops him, blocking his way. „Not like that!” He shakes his head. „Not like that. I just thought I could cook some lunch? And you could take a bath if you wanted? And you could, like, stay over for a few nights because the weather man said that the temperature is gonna drop really low during the next couple of days?”

„Right. Like I said: _fuck. you._ ” Tyler pushes Josh out of the way and continues walking away.

„Tyler, listen to me! I’m not inviting you because I want to take advantage of you! I’m inviting you because I want you to spend a few days in a warm place and I want you to sleep in a comfortable bed, and eat some proper food, and I want to make this easier for you because spending Christmas on the streets must definitely suck.” 

„You don’t even know me, man. You don’t know my story, you don’t know a single thing about me besides my first name!”

„No, I don’t. But maybe we could get to know each other a little bit more?” Josh looks at him with hope in his eyes and starts explaining. „The thing is, my whole family is spending Christmas and the New Year’s Eve in Florida. They tried to make me go with them but I’m pretty stubborn and I didn’t really feel like spending so much time with every single member of my family. So it’s only me. I could use some company. I guess you could too.”

Tyler sends him a long glare.

„I’m perfectly fine on my own.” He says. „Leave me alone. I don’t want to see your face ever again.”

 

Josh doesn’t see Tyler anywhere since then. 

But in the late evening of December 24th, there’s a faint knock on his door. He’s in the middle of watching _Home Alone_ and plans to ignore the intruder but the knocking repeats, a little harder and more desperate this time. He rolls his eyes - going through a mental list of people who can be possibly standing on his doormat - but gets up and opens the door. His jaw drops at the sight. 

It’s Tyler, swaying on his feet with mud and blood smeared all over his panicked and exhausted-looking face. There’s a deep cut above his left eyebrow and one more - slightly smaller - in the middle of his upper lip. A bruise is already forming under his left eye, his clothes are torn in a few places and he’s soaking wet, probably from lying in the snow. 

„Oh my God, Tyler! What happened?” Josh takes his hand and leads him inside. The homeless boy hisses and his knees give out from underneath him but Josh catches him in time and slowly lowers him to the floor in the hallway. He supports Tyler’s frame when the other boy tries to catch his breath, wincing with every try. „What hurts?”

„Everything.” Tyler wheezes.

Josh touches his cheek, ignoring the fact that his hand gets covered in Tyler’s blood. He gently tilts his chin to have a better view at the damaged face.

„Are you good to go to the bathroom with me? Can you get up?”

Tyler nods. Josh throws the boy’s arm around his shoulders and tries to lift him up. Taking small steps, they reach the bathroom and Josh sits him down on the edge of the bathtub, gently removing the wet jacket from Tyler’s shoulders. He starts wiping his face with a small towel.

„Who did this to you? _Why_ did they do this to you?” Josh asks, carefully pressing the towel against the wound on Tyler’s forehead, but he’s only met with a long silence. „Do you feel like anything’s broken? Maybe we should go to the hospital?” He tries again and eventually, Tyler slowly shakes his head no. Josh throws the bloodied towel into the sink. „Can you lift your arms for me?” 

„A-ah!” Tyler cries out in pain when Josh tries to pull his hoodie over his head. 

„I’m sorry! I’m sorry. One more time, _please_. T-shirt is coming off too. I need to take a look at your chest. Your breathing is really weird.”

When Tyler obeys, Josh removes his clothes and gasps, shocked. There are purple bruises starting to form on the left side of Tyler’s ribcage. It looks like the left side of the body received the most of the hits. He gently runs his fingers over Tyler’s chest, checking for broken ribs. 

„Tyler, we should call the police.”

„No!” Tyler shouts, trying to get up but Josh’s firm grip on his arms keeps him in place. „No, please! No police, no police!

„Fine, no police. Calm down.” Josh rests his hands on Tyler’s shoulders to steady him when another wave of pain floods his body. „Look. I’ll run you a bath, okay? The warmth should ease the pain a little bit and relax your muscles. You will clean yourself up, put some fresh clothes on and I’ll find you some painkillers. I think I have a cream for bruises somewhere in the kitchen... And then you will eat something. Okay?” He asks and starts to fill the bathtub with water. „Do you need any help? Should I help you remove your pants? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, it just seems like bending down is a little bit difficult for you right know.”

„Please.” Tyler whispers, nodding hesitantly. 

Josh carefully takes Tyler’s shoes and pants off and helps him get into the bathtub in his boxers. Since keeping his arms up causes trouble too, Josh ends up washing his hair, face, shoulders and back. Even if Tyler is clearly embarrassed with the whole situation and his cheeks are burning red, Josh pretends not to notice. 

„Do you want to stay in the water for a bit longer? I’ll grab some clean clothes for you. The towels are here.” He points to the cabinet above the sink. „Just call me if you need any help.”

Josh leaves the bathroom and turns to his bedroom. He finds a pair of comfortable-looking sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. He sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair - he can’t get rid of the image of the bruised, skinny frame from his head. 

When he’s in the kitchen, in the middle of searching through the drawers and cabinets for painkillers, a faint voice calls his name from the bathroom. When he opens the door, Tyler is still in the water. He has his knees pressed close to his chest and arms wrapped around them. His boxers are floating on the surface and his cheeks are on fire again, even if his body is trembling and there are goosebumps on his skin.

„I can’t get up.” He says quietly. „I’ve tried but my legs and arms keep giving out.”

„That’s fine. Come on.” Josh smiles reassuringly, reaching inside the cabinet and finding the biggest and the most fluffy towel he owns and puts it aside, where it’s easy to reach. He grabs Tyler’s hands. „I won’t peek, I promise.” He helps the boy step out of the bathtub and wraps the soft, white material around him. Then, he leads him to the bedroom where the spare clothes are prepared on the bed. „I actually found a pair of boxer briefs I’ve never worn before so you can use them too. Do you need help with dressing up?”

„Uhm, no. I think I can do it.” 

„Okay.” Josh nods. „Take your time. I’m gonna clean up the bathroom. Then you will probably find me in the kitchen.”

Back in the bathroom he unplugs the drain and watches as the dirty water disappears from the tub. He grabs Tyler’s clothes and throws everything into the washing machine. He’s tempted to throw them away but he realizes that the other boy probably would not appreciate it. If Tyler insists on wearing them later, Josh can at least try to sew up the holes.

When he enters the kitchen a few minutes later, Tyler’s already there, sitting at the table. Even if he’s dressed in Josh’s clothes and has the blanket from the bed wrapped around him, he’s still shivering.

„Are you cold? Wait, I will turn the heating up.”

„Thank you.” Tyler whispers shyly.

„I know it hurts but you need to eat something first. You can’t take painkillers on an empty stomach, it will make you feel sick. What would you like to eat?”

„A piece of bread would be more than enough.”

„No, if there’s anything you’d like to eat, just tell me.” Josh insists.

„Do you have eggs?” Tyler asks quietly.

„Yes…?”

„Could you- Could I- Would you mind if I asked for some scrambled eggs? I haven’t eaten those in a really long time.”

„Of course you can have scrambled eggs!” Josh says with a wide smile and starts to prepare the meal. When he mixes eggs on the pan, he looks at Tyler again. „Will you tell me what happened?” 

„I got beaten up.” The boy mumbles.

„Yeah, that’s pretty obvious. The question is: _why?_ ”

Tyler bites his lip and turns his head to look the wall, keeping his gaze as far from Josh as he possibly can. Josh lets out a sigh but doesn’t pry.

He watches Tyler while the other boy eats. Even if his eyes widen at the sight of the full, steaming plate and his stomach rumbles loudly reminding him how hungry he is, he tries to eat slowly, cherishing every bite of the meal and every sip of the hot tea. 

After licking the whole plate of scrambled eggs clean and greedily swallowing the painkillers, Tyler yawns and rubs his eyes. 

„Tired?” Josh asks, putting the empty plate in the sink.

„Yeah...”

„Come on. You will sleep in my bedroom.”

„Where will _you_ sleep?” Tyler asks, looking at him with wide eyes.

„I’ll take the couch.”

„N-no! That’s not fair. I’ll take the couch.”

„Tyler, your body needs some proper rest. You need space to let your muscles relax. I’ll be fine. Please, don’t argue with me on that.”

 

When Tyler wakes up the next morning, he snuggles further under the warm covers but opens his eyes and looks around when the unfamiliar scent hits his nostrils. He sits up on the bed and runs his fingers through his hair: _clean_ hair. He’s clean. He’s in a _bed. Josh’s_ bed. The events of the last night flash before his eyes. 

Josh helped him. 

Josh cleaned him up.

Josh gave him clothes, food and offered his bed. 

Josh didn’t try anything inappropriate.

Tyler’s body still hurts but he can finally move around a little bit more and he feels like his strength is slowly coming back. He swings his legs off the bed and stands up, testing them. He winces, trying to stretch but the pain is nothing compared to what he felt last evening. 

The sound of the water running reaches his ears and he realizes that Josh is probably occupying the bathroom. He feels like an intruder but decides to take a little tour around the apartment. He pours himself a glass of tap water from the kitchen, stares at the Christmas tree that Josh put up in the corner of the living room, scans the walls full of DVD and CD collections, looks at the framed photos on the hallway walls.

There’s one more room left and even if the door is closed, his curiousity takes over so he twists the doorknob and pushes the door open. His jaw almost drops to the floor: the room is painted red and there’s no furniture except for a large bean bag in the corner of the room. There are two more things inside that catch Tyler’s attention: a drum kit and a piano. 

His heart starts hammering in his chest. He doesn’t want to touch Josh’s things without permission but the urge is stronger so he crosses the room in four quick steps and stops next to the piano. He strokes the wooden case with his fingers and sits down on the stool in front of the instrument.

He presses a few keys to check if the piano is in tune and plays a chord. Then another. And another. He catches himself playing the beginning of _Für Elise_ and then he breaks down.

He’s crying before he knows it and the loud sobs are tearing from his chest, hurting his bruised ribs. He hangs his head and presses his fingers against his eyelids but the tears don’t stop. If anything, they’re rolling even faster on his cheeks, dropping down on white keys. He can’t remember the last time he cried so hard.

But suddenly someone pulls him against their bare chest, and someone asks what’s wrong, and someone helps him stand up, and someone leads him out of the room and lowers him down onto the couch and someone hugs him again – this time even harder.

When he finally manages to calm down, he notices Josh looking at him with a worried expression on his face.

„Are you with me again?” Josh asks and Tyler nods, wiping his eyes. „Do you want to talk about it?”

„I had a chance to become a pianist, Josh.” Tyler says before he can stop himself. „I had a chance and perfect opportunities and I ruined everything in the blink of an eye because I thought that coming out to my homophobic parents was a good idea.” He sobs and Josh wraps his arms around him again. No one has hugged him like that in years. „I’m gay, Josh. I’m fucking gay.” He says through clenched teeth. „And I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate being a _fag_.”

„Stop it!” Josh says firmly. „If you call yourself a fag ever again, I’ll slap you in the face, I’m not even kidding. Did your parents react badly when you told them?” He asks but it causes Tyler to let out a loud scowl. He starts shaking violently and pulling at his hair but Josh grabs his hands, trying to stop him from hurting himself. „Okay, stop. I’m sorry I asked. I shouldn’t have. You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s alright, Tyler. Whatever happened in the past… You’re safe here, okay? No one will hurt you.” He says, rubbing Tyler’s back. „Do you need anything? A glass of water? A blanket?”

Tyler shakes his head and rests his forehead on Josh’s shoulder, exhaling shakily. Once again, Josh pulls him close. Tyler gives up and lets himself relax against another warm body. They stay like that for a while, listening to each other’s breathing. After what seems like hours, Josh lets out a painful moan and shifts a little. Tyler quickly sits up, shifting away from him.

„Sorry, sorry.” Josh hisses. „My arm went to sleep. I swear, I can beat the crap out of my drums for two hours straight but I can’t sit still for ten minutes.” He sighs and turns to look at Tyler. „Are you hungry? I can make pancakes. With Nutella. And strawberries.”

As the answer, Tyler’s stomach growls, making Josh chuckle.

„I guess that’s a yes.”

„No.” Tyler swallows nervously. „I should- I should probably go.”

„Where?” Josh’s eyebrows rise in surprise. „Are you crazy? You still need to rest and get better. I’m not letting you out of this flat. Besides, have you even seen what’s happening outside right now?” He asks and for the first time this morning, Tyler looks through the window: everything is white and it’s snowing pretty hard. The streets and sidewalks are covered with a thick layer of white fluff. There’s no chance his worn-out shoes would warm his feet. „Pancakes then.” Josh stands up, making him snap back into reality and turns to the kitchen. 

Tyler joins him after watching the blizzard for a few more minutes and listens to Josh’s soft humming to the sound of the radio playing silently in the background. When Josh is done, he places two plates of pancakes on the table, along with a jar of Nutella and a bowl of red strawberries. 

„They’re probably not as good as fresh summer strawberries but believe me, I’m such a sucker for those... I had to buy them even if they probably taste like crap.”

Tyler almost smiles. He stabs one of the pancakes with a fork.

„I’m sorry for being a jerk to you.” He says suddenly, knowing that Josh deserves some kind of apology. „I overreacted, I just-”

„It’s fine. I could use some better words inviting you over.”

„Thank you, Josh.” Tyler puts his fork down and looks at Josh, who furrows his brows. He opens his mouth to speak but Tyler beats him to it. „People… They’re usually not good to me. And it’s against my nature to trust anyone, yet there’s something about you that makes me trust you. So thank you. For not abandoning me. For not telling me to fuck off when I showed up at your doorstep last night. You could just slam the door in my face but you didn’t do it. You don’t even know me and you’ve already done so much for me.”

„Will you let me get to know you?” Josh asks.

Tyler drops his gaze to the plate but doesn’t answer.

„These are actually really good.” He says instead and shoves another piece of a pancake into his mouth. 

 

After breakfast they settle in the living room, flipping through channels, avoiding every festive-themed movie per Tyler’s request. It’s a difficult thing to do, especially in the morning of a Christmas day, so Josh puts on _the Lord of The Rings_ DVD instead. Sometimes he glances discreetly at Tyler who sits on the opposite end of the couch, hugging one of Josh’s pillows.

„My parents got me my first toy piano when I was four.” Tyler starts to speak and Josh has to do a doubletake before he realizes that the boy said anything. „Since then, I was obsessed. I used to play all the time and when mom noticed how passionate I was about pressing those black and white keys, she bought me a real keyboard and signed me up for piano lessons.” 

Josh reaches for the remote and turns the TV off. He folds his legs under himself so he can face Tyler and give him his full attention. The boy keeps his gaze focused somewhere on the wall next to the Christmas tree and presses the pillow even tighter against his chest.

„And then, before I knew it, I got accepted into a fancy music school, I was winning every piano competition and finally, I got the chance to play in the real orchestra in front of the real audience. My teacher wanted to fly me to Europe for some important international competition. I was sixteen at the time.” Tyler stops for a moment and frowns, like he tries to put his memories in the right order. „There was a boy in the orchestra, he played the violin. We started off as friends but somehow ended up dating. He was my first boyfriend. We kept our relationship a secret for over a year. I was really happy with him, I got to know his mom and dad but... he never got to know mine. After I turned seventeen, I decided to come out to my parents even if I knew they didn’t tolerate anything… odd. I could only- I thought they would accept me. And I did it, I came out. Told them everything, told them about my boyfriend. That’s when all hell broke loose.” Tyler clears his throat after his voice cracks. He takes a couple of deep breaths to compose himself. 

„It’s okay, Tyler. You don’t have to.” Josh says but Tyler shakes his head.

„No, I need- You deserve to know. They told me- They said that they would fix me.” The boy rubs his damp eyes and laughs bitterly. „They banned me from seeing him. They locked me up in my own room and refused to let me out of the house, told my little sister that I got really sick and I couldn’t go out. And they prayed for me. And when their prayers didn’t help, father started to use violence. And when beating me up didn’t help either, they decided to take me to the hospital. But when doctors told them that being gay is not an illness and there’s absolutely no reason to put me on medication, my father lost his shit. He almost killed me there, in front of the doctor. He looked like possesed. Four men had to get him off me. And for me… That was it. I ran out of the building, got back home before them, packed my stuff, took all the cash I could find in the house and-” Tyler slowly nods to himself. „I bought a ticket for the first available train. I ended up in Indianapolis.”

„Wait…” Josh frowns. „Where are you from?”

„Chicago.”

„And you’re aware that we’re in Columbus right now?”

Tyler giggles nervously and rubs his hands over his face.

„Yes, I am aware.”

„How old are you now?”

„What is this? Twenty questions?” Tyler snaps.

„Oh. Sorry.”

„No, no. _I’m_ sorry. That was rude. I- I just turned twenty-three.” The boy says and Josh’s head snaps up, eyes widening. „What?”

„Nothing… You look a little bit younger.” Josh rubs the back of his neck.

„Younger? How old did you think I was?”

„Seventeen?”

„Are you f-”

„Maybe eighteen?” Josh says quickly and makes a face.

„I’m honestly not sure if I should be flattered or offended right now.” 

„But that was like… five years ago! Have you been living on the streets since then!?”

„No. Kind of. I mean-” Tyler shakes his head and takes a deep breath. The expression on his face turns serious and focused again. „I had some money with me so I stayed in a cheap, dirty motel for a while. I was lucky enough to find a job pretty quickly and they never asked for my ID. I gave them cash, they let me sleep. Then, I saw an advert about some college kids looking for a flatmate. I got in touch with them, they said yes. I ended up living with them for almost two years. I still had the same job at some unhygienic roadside eatery and I managed to save up some cash but then they fired me and my money kept vanishing too quickly and... before I knew it, I couldn’t pay the rent anymore. They kicked me out. I bought a ticket to Columbus. I didn’t want to stay in Indianapolis anymore.” Tyler sighs and hesitantly looks up at Josh. „This is where my life goes to complete shit. I don’t want you to-”

„Whatever happened, I won’t judge you.” Josh cuts him off.

„I don’t want you to be disgusted with me.”

„It’s okay, Tyler. I promise.”

„I ended up on the street.” Tyler drops his gaze again. „I slept wherever I could. On benches, under bridges, in old buildings. I used public toilets in shopping malls to wash up, I stole soaps, razors and scissors to make myself look at least a little bit normal. Then, one day, I got mugged.” He closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath. „They took the last few dollars I had, they took my phone and my clothes and after that… After that I got so low that I started to make money by sucking dicks behind dumpsters in dark alleys. And the money was good. So I continued working like that for a while.” Tyler stays silent for a few minutes but Josh doesn’t dare to speak. He knows it’s not the end of the story, so he watches the boy as he picks at the skin around his fingernails. „There are times during those past five years that I can’t recall, I have no idea what was happening to me.” Tyler continues quietly. „I don’t know where I was and what I did. I know I started to take drugs at some point. But then I had this moment of realization, I kept thinking: _what the fuck am I doing with my life_ , you know? And I decided that I can’t live like that anymore. I stopped getting high and I stopped selling my body but my life was so fucked up already that I couldn’t change anything.” He says, quickly wiping the tear that rolls down his cheek. „I stayed on the streets, just wandering around and eating whatever I could find. And then, after I lost hope, you happened.” He looks up at Josh. „You brought me food and you acted like you cared. You gave me hope. And you were trying to help me even if I’m such a failure.” Tyler let out a sob and more tears appear on his face.

Josh can’t stay away any longer. He shifts closer and throws his arm around Tyler, bringing him close. Tyler pushes into the embrace, nuzzling his face against Josh’s shoulder.

„You’re not a failure.” Josh says, his own eyes watering. 

„I wanted to end my life so many times…” Tyler sniffles. „The day you approached me on the bridge, I was so close to jump... But then you led me away and you gave me food... And you smiled at me, Josh, and no one ever smiles at me like that.”

„Oh, Tyler.”

„I’m so sorry for ruining your Christmas.”

„You didn’t ruin anything. I’m glad you’re here and I wouldn’t change it for anything.” Josh rests his cheek on the top of Tyler’s head and lifts his hand to stroke Tyler’s hair.

Tyler purrs in delight but then pushes back like he got struck by the lighting. 

„I’m sorry! I’m so sorry... I didn’t mean to be so clingy. I just- You’re so warm and you’re so nice, and-” Tyler talks rapidly and his cheeks immediately start burning.

„Tyler.” Josh laughs. „Get back here, you _idiot_.” He opens his arms in a welcoming gesture. Tyler hesitates and looks up at Josh, waiting. When he gets a nod of approval, he slowly lowers himself down and puts his head in Josh’s lap. He opens his mouth to speak but closes it quickly. „Tell me what you want, Tyler.” Josh smiles at the boy.

„Can you stroke my hair again?” He blurts out and immediately clasps both of his hands over his mouth. He tries to lift himself up but Josh grips his shoulders, pushing him back down and starts running his fingers through Tyler’s hair before the other boy can escape. „You don’t have to.” Tyler says. „I mean, it’s probably weird. I’m gay. But I swear, I don’t mean anything by this and I don’t- It’s not like I’m trying to-”

„Shut up. Stop babbling. Relax. Can you do that for me?” Josh can’t stop himself from chuckling. Tyler takes a deep breath and tries to find more comfortable position. „That’s it. You’re here with me now and everything will be alright. You’re _safe_.”

„Safe.” Tyler mumbles and closes his eyes.

 

When he opens them again, something feels off. There’s a pillow under his head and a blanket covering his body. He sits up rubbing his eyelids and looks around. The clock on the wall says it’s almost four in the afternoon, the curtains are drawn and the fairy lights on the Christmas tree are the only source of light. He wraps the blanket around his shoulders and makes his way to Josh’s bedroom where a faint noise is coming from. 

He stops abruptly when he opens the door: there are clothes everywhere and a few boxes are stacked one on top of the other. Josh is on his knees, head first in the wardrobe, only his bum and legs visible. Tyler clears his throat and Josh straightens up, looking in his direction.

„Oh, you’re awake!”

„Why didn’t you wake me?” He asks, frowning. „I slept almost the whole day.”

„You still need tons of rest.” Josh says, standing up. „I’ll make some late lunch in a minute.”

„What are you doing?” Tyler leans against the doorframe, looking at the scene before him.

„Well, since you don’t have many clothes and we’re _almost_ the same size – but don’t worry, once you start eating properly again they will fit alright – and I have so many things I don’t wear, I thought you could use them. I have too many clothes anyway so all of these...” Josh points to a big pile of clothes on the bed. „...are yours now. I found a few pairs of shoes too but you will have to try them on first since I don’t really know your shoe size.” He scratches the back of his head, looking around. „Oh! I also had this idea of switching rooms. I can move my things to the music room since it’s soundproofed and my neighbors don’t really appreciate my drumming... You will take my room and we can bring my furniture there. I mean, my old furniture from my parents’ house - you know, like, the bed and some shelves, a wardrobe and maybe a chest of drawers so you can have your own room and be my flatmate. And I could help you find a job. I’ll talk to my boss and maybe he could hire you so you can have your own money again.” Josh grins. „I have a really good feeling about this and- Tyler?”

Tyler finds himself frozen in place and feels a wave of shock flooding his body. He turns on his heel and quickly leaves the bedroom. Josh runs after him, catching up with him in the living room where Tyler’s legs finally give out and he slumps down onto the couch. 

„Tyler...” Josh kneels down before him, separating his legs an putting his hands on Tyler’s thighs. „Sweet cheeks, talk to me.”

„Wake up, Tyler, wake up, wake up…” Tyler begs.

„You’re awake, Tyler. Come on, look at me.”

„Wake me up, Josh, I don’t want to sleep anymore because this dream is getting out of control. I really need to wake up right now because if I keep dreaming and wake up on the bench in the park again, I won’t be able to handle it because the realization will be too much and it’s not real, it’s not real-”

„Hey, you’re not making any sense. You’re awake, Tyler. This is real. You’re in my flat and I’m here with you, and this conversation is really happening. It’s not a dream.” Josh reaches out and puts his hand on Tyler’s cheek. He can’t help but lean into the touch.

„It must be.” Tyler says. „Because I’m sure as hell that people like you just don’t exist. People suck. They don’t care about guys like me, they don’t let strangers inside their flats and most certainly don’t invite them to live together.” 

„Well, I just did. Didn’t I?” 

„I could be a murderer. A psychopath. I could smother you to death with a pillow while you sleep, I could take the biggest kitchen knife and stab you in the chest, steal all your money and disappear.”

„You wouldn’t do that.” Josh smiles.

„How can you be so sure about it?”

„Because you’re a good guy. I can see it in your eyes.”

Tyler loses it again. He throws himself at Josh, making him fall back on his butt. He climbs on top of him, straddles his lap and wraps his arms around the other man’s neck. He presses his nose into Josh’s collarbone.

„You’re an angel.” Tyler says quietly.

„Nah, I’m pretty sure I’m _Josh_.”

Tyler snorts and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t take his head off Josh’s shoulder but moves it to the side so he can have a better view at the living room. He feels Josh’s hands sneaking up his back and gently caressing his shoulder blades.

„It’s so pretty.” Tyler mumbles sleepily, looking at the Christmas tree.

„Merry Christmas, Tyler.” Josh whispers in his ear.

„Merry Christmas, fren.”

 

They spend most of the time between Christmas and the New Year’s Eve laying on the couch and watching TV or lazing around in Josh’s bed for hours, talking about life, their hopes and dreams. They start to sleep in the same bed together since Tyler refuses to let Josh squeeze on the couch any longer. Spooning, cuddling or stealing short, innocent cheek kisses from each other comes more naturally than any of them would ever think. 

In the morning of December 31st, the loud sound of the doorbell echoes through the apartment, causing Tyler to let out a growl and bury his face in the crook of Josh’s neck. When the doorbell if followed by the impatient knocking, Josh rolls his eyes, frees himself from Tyler’s octopus-like grip and kisses his forehead.

„I’ll be back in a minute.” 

He slips out of the bed and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him after noticing Tyler’s closed eyes. He shuffles to the door and opens it without looking through the peephole. Before he can process what’s happening, there are wet kisses on his cheeks and cold hands on his bare chest and definitely too loud voice of his mother.

„Josh! Son! Did I wake you?” Laura hugs him tightly until there’s no air left in his lungs.

„Mom…” Josh wheezes, trying to wriggle out of the deathly grip. „Aren’t you supposed to be in Miami or something?” 

„No. Well, yes. But I’m back! The whole family is back. I said to your father: _My son was there alone on Christmas but I won’t let him spend the New Year’s Eve on his own. We’re going back to Columbus and we’re throwing a huge party at our house._ ”

„Mom, I’m fine, you didn’t have to-”

„Oh, shush. Ashley said that you were busy at work and your boss has been harsh on you lately and that’s why you couldn’t go on holiday with us.”

„Ashley said that?” Josh’s eyebrows shot up to the ceiling.

„Yes. That’s why we’re back! And we’re gonna celebrate together! Just come around at seven.”

„I’m not sure if I-”

At the same time, the door opens and a very sleepy Tyler emerges from the bedroom, wearing Josh’s sweatpants and a white tank top that – fortunately – successfully covers his still healing bruises. The one under his left eye is gone and Josh exhales in relief because otherwise his mother’s interrogation wouldn’t end quickly. 

Tyler yawns and rubs his eyes. It’s an adorable sight and Josh would definitely rush forward and hug the life out of him if it wasn’t for his mother, standing right next to him with her mouth wide open. When Tyler finally realizes that there are two people in the hallway - with one being Josh and the other being a middle aged, classy-looking woman - he blushes.

„Oh. H-hi?” He stutters out.

„Joshua William Dun.” Laura starts in a demanding tone.

„Mom, stop.” Josh scowls. „Don’t even-”

„So _this_ was your reason to stay in Ohio while your whole family was celebrating Christmas in Florida?” She asks but her eyes never leave Tyler.

„What!? No! Mom, you don’t underst-”

„You made Ashley lie for you just so you could spend some time alone with this boy!?”

„Mom! For God’s sake!”

„You could just say!” She finally looks at Josh with disappointment in her eyes. „Why didn’t you tell me? We could buy one extra ticket to Florida so he could come with us!” 

„I- Wait… What!?” Josh squeaks out.

„Is this why you broke up with Debby?” Laura approaches him and puts her hand on his shoulder. „It wasn’t because of the long distance, it was because you like boys!”

„Oh my God…” He closes his eyes and rubs his hands over his burning face.

„I always knew.” The woman smiles triumphantly.

„Mom, I’m not-”

„Come here, boy.” She turns to Tyler. „Let me look at you!” Josh watches in horror as Tyler hesitantly steps closer to the woman and she immediately pulls him into her arms, and pinches both of his cheeks. „Ah, so tall and handsome! What’s your name? I need to ask personally, since my son forgot his manners and never introduced you.”

„My name is, uhm, Tyler?” Tyler says but it comes out more like a question than a statement.

„Tyler. Nice to meet you, Tyler! I’m Laura. Our family is throwing a New Year’s Eve party tonight. You should come over with Josh. It’s the highest time for him to introduce his boyfriend to the family.”

„Mom, he’s not my boyfriend!” Josh says, throwing his hands in the air.

„Of course he’s not.” She rolls her eyes and pets Tyler’s cheek. „I expect both of you at seven.” 

With that, Laura turns on her heel and leaves the flat, closing the door behind her, leaving them in the hallway with confused expression on their faces. Josh decides to break the silence first.

„I’m so sorry about that!” He says. „She can get really hype sometimes. I’m sorry if she made you feel uncomfortable.”

„It was your _mom_?” 

„Yeah?” Josh scratches the back of his neck.

„Wow.” The boy sighs sadly and turns to leave. „Why all the moms can’t be like that?” 

„Oh, Tyler…” Josh rushes after him and hugs him from behind. He buries his nose in the younger boy’s hair. „Do you want to be my date at the party?”

„I’m not a big fan of parties.” Tyler murmurs but presses his back against Josh’s chest.

„But I need to show off my adorable _boyfriend_ to the whole family.”

Tyler spins around in his arms and playfully hits his chest.

„That’s not funny.” He scoffs.

„You’re right. Should have done this properly.” Josh smiles, looking him straight in the eyes. He takes Tyler’s hand and kisses his knuckles. „Tyler, will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

„Are you serious?” Tyler looks at him with wide, surprised eyes.

„Yes. Yeah, I am.”

„You don’t even know me.”

„I know you enough.”

„But I’m broken, Josh.”

„Aren’t we all?” He presses a long, loving kiss to Tyler’s temple and rubs his hands up and down the other boy’s arms.

They part when Josh’s phone dings somewhere in the kitchen, announcing a new text message and they both shuffle in that direction. Tyler takes his usual spot at the table and Josh turns on the kettle before reaching for his phone. 

It’s a text from Ashley: _Heard you got yourself a boyfriend. Congratulations. Are you coming to the party?_

 _Looks like it_ , he replies. _Please, Ash. Talk to mom. Tell her not to ask Tyler about his family or personal life. He’s fragile._

_Got you, big brother._

Josh looks up at Tyler and smiles.

„So. Breakfast?”

 

At six in the evening, Tyler starts pacing nervously in the hallway. He looks in the mirror and fixes his hair and shirt for the hundredth time. He’s wearing Josh’s clothes that are at least one size too big on him but at least he looks good. He watches Josh rummaging through the kitchen, grabbing all the things they need. When their eyes meet, Josh immediately notices Tyler’s worried face and his nervous twitches.

„We don’t have to go.” He says, approaching him. „If you feel too nervous, we can just stay in. I’m serious, Tyler. If it’s too soon just tell me.”

„No- I mean, I don’t know... I just- I lack social graces, Josh. I’ve forgotten how to act among people.” Tyler sighs. „Blending in the crowd of people on the street is one thing but being in a room full of strangers who look at you, judge you and ask you questions is a different story. But your mom was so excited and I would hate myself if we disappointed her! So I guess I just have to suck it up, face your family and try to prove that I’m not a completely hopeless case.”

Josh reaches out for him and cradles Tyler’s face in both hands. 

„Hey.” He says, stroking Tyler’s cheek with his thumb. „You don’t have to prove anything to anybody, okay? Just be your charming self. We will go there just so my mother can get off my back but the minute you feel like it’s too much, tell me and we will go home. If you change your mind in the car, I will turn around and drive us back. We can always watch fireworks from the balcony.”

The way Josh says the word home, makes the wave of warmth spread through Tyler’s chest. Home - not _my place_ or _my apartment_. He nods against Josh’s hand and the older boy plants a kiss on the top of his head.

„Thank you.” Tyler whispers. 

Josh finally lets go, grabs his keys, takes a botle of champagne from the kitchen cabinet and after helping Tyler put the jacket on and carefully wrapping a thick, woollen scarf around his neck, he leads them outside to his car. 

Even if talking to Josh is the easiest thing in the world, the whole ride to Josh’s parents’ house is silent, filled only with music coming from the radio. When the car finally halts to stop in a quiet, suburbian neighborhood, Josh takes Tyler’s hand and squeezes it gently. He drops it only for a moment when the climb out of the car but then links their fingers again. It definitely helps tame Tyler’s nervousness.

After Josh lets them inside with his own key (explaining that ringing the doorbell would probably bring too much attention and he doesn’t want to stress Tyler even more), Laura shows up in front of them out of nowhere.

„Boys! I’m so glad you’re here!” 

She ignores her son and goes straight to Tyler, embracing him and kissing his cheek. He hugs her back - probably a little too long because she’s the first one to pull away. He blushes, embarrassed, but it seems like she doesn’t mind so he lets himself relax a little bit more. Laura tells them to make themselves at home and disappeares in the living room with the bottle of champagne from Josh. 

It’s warm inside. The house is filled with music and voices but surprisingly, it doesn’t feel overwhelming or suffocationg. It feels cozy. It feels right. When Josh introduces him to his family, Tyler certainly doesn’t expect everyone to be so nice and accepting. He doesn’t expect smiles, hugs and firm handshakes but that’s exactly what happens. No one looks at him differently even for a second. Instead, people smile at him and nod in approval, they keep offering him drinks and snacks, they talk to him like he’s been a part of the clan all along and not a complete stranger they’ve never seen before. 

But even if the whole family makes him feel welcomed and relaxed, and everyone seems to like him, the thought of losing Josh out of his sight is still terrifying. So he never leaves the other man’s side. He clings to him like a child in the doctor’s office, holds his hand and follows him everywhere. 

When they finally manage to escape from all the small talk, they slump down onto one of the couches. Josh throws his arm around Tyler’s shoulders but before the younger can push his face into the crook of Josh’s neck, someone takes the spot next to them.

They’re met with a curious stare of Josh’s father.

„So, Tyler.” Bill starts. „What do you do for a living?”

Tyler openes his mouth but no sound comes out. _Fuck. Abort mission_. They didn’t think this through and he has no idea what he should say. _I’m a professional street wanderer?_

„Tyler is a pianist. He gives piano lessons.” He hears Josh. He turns his head and looks at him with wide eyes.

„Oh, another musician. Drums and piano? Maybe you two should form a band!” 

The man laughs and claps his hands. Before he can ask more questions, Ashley approaches them and sends Josh a meaningful look, asking their father to follow her upstairs. When Bill leaves, Tyler exhales in relief. Josh buries his nose in his hair and giggles straight into his hear.

„Breathe.” He says. „Breathe, you’re okay. We’re okay.”

„Easy to say. That was too close.”

„Relax. No one knows. No one will find out.” Josh smiles reassuringly. „Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick, alright? I’ll be right back.”

Before Tyler can protest, Josh is gone. After two, five, seven minutes he’s still gone and Tyler knows that he probably got stopped by someone on his way back. He looks around the spacious room, trying to remember the names of Josh’s family members but after making an awkward eye contact with too many people, he decides against it. Not wanting to sit in the same spot for too long and become a potential small-talk victim of any uncle or aunt, he stands up and turns to the kitchen. He’s relieved to see Laura, who’s busy stuffing hard-boiled eggs. 

„Hello, Tyler.” She smiles once she notices him. „Are you looking for Josh?”

„I was actually looking for you. Do you need any help?”

„No, thank you. I’m fine. There’s not much to do anyway.”

„Please? Anything?” Tyler steps closer and looks around the counter. „I can chop something!”

Laura puts another egg down and sends him a questioning look.

„Are you alright?” She asks quietly.

„Yes. Just- I needed a place to hide from all the talking.” He mumbles, hanging his head. „I mean- Oh, gosh. That probably sounded really wrong… Uh, I mean, I really like every single one of you but sometimes it gets... too loud. In my head.” He sighs. „I don’t know where Josh is and everyone is really talkative, and it kinda makes me feel anxious and you’re, like, one of those people that I feel safe with.” 

She nods quickly and puts his hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently.

„It’s okay. I’ve got you, sweetheart. Don’t worry.” Laura smiles. „Well, it would be lovely if you could help me chop these tomatoes and cucumbers.”

„Thank you so much.” Tyler breaths out, rolling up the sleeves. He starts chopping vegetables, being careful not to stain Josh’s plain, blue shirt with tomato juice.

 

When Josh finally manages to escape his cousins and walks back into the living room, he doesn’t see Tyler anywhere but then someone directs him to the kitchen and that’s where he finds his boyfriend and mother laughing over something. He doesn’t want to interrupt this heartwarming scene happening in front of him, so he slowly and quietly backs away, leaving them alone. In the hallway, he stops his slighly tipsy father and spins him around, leading him back to the living room. 

„Where’s my son-in-law?” Bill asks and Josh almost chokes on his own spit.

„He’s in the kitchen with mom. They’re cooking. Please, don’t bother them now.”

„He seems like a nice boy.” His father nods to himself. „But there’s something off about him and I can’t quite put my finger on it...” He refills his glass with wine. „His eyes… They’re look really sad. Almost dead.”

„Yeah...” Josh admits. „Life has been a little bit harsh on him. But we’re working on it. He’s on his way to get better.”

„You make him happy, you know. His face could lit up the whole room when he looks at you. He must really love you.” 

Josh looks up at Bill in surprise.

„You really think so?”

„I don’t need to think. I _see_.”

When after a half an hour later Tyler and his mother still haven’t left the kitchen, Josh decides to check up on them. All the snacks and meals are ready and set on the counter in colorful bowls but Laura and Tyler are still there, sitting at the kitchen table close to each other, talking in hushed voices. And… _Is Tyler wiping his eyes?_

„Tyler?” Josh frowns. „What’s wrong?”

They both jump up a little bit and look up at him.

„Nothing, everything is fine!” Tyler says, sniffling. „Just… Onions, you know. We just finished cutting onions.” 

„Right… Mom, what did you do?”

„She didn’t do anything.” The boy stands up, smiling down at Laura. He gives her a quick hug and kisses her cheek, whispering a quiet _thank you_. He slowly approaches Josh. „I need to use the bathroom. Will you show me the way?” With that, Tyler leaves the kitchen.

„Were you plotting against me?” Josh asks.

„You’ll never know.” Laura shrugs and starts cleaning the table.

Josh shakes his head and runs after Tyler.

„Are you sure you’re okay?” He says when he catches up with him. „Because if she said something stupid…” 

„Josh.” Tyler stops in the mid-step and throws his arms around Josh’s neck, pulling him close. „Thank you for bringing me here.”

„Okay?” Josh embraces him around the waist. „You’re welcome?”

Tyler kisses his cheek and lets go. 

„This is the bathroom, right?” Without waiting for an answer, he disappears behind the wooden door.

„I’m so confused right now.” Josh says to himself and joins the rest of the guests.

 

Until midnight, nothing unusual happens. The party goes on - everyone keeps chatting, laughing and drinking punch. A few people decide to show off they _dancing skills_ when the faster music comes up and Tyler can’t stop himself from laughing at the sight of weird, uncoordinated movements. He refuses to drink anything alcoholic no matter how many times someone offers him a glass of wine and Josh, being the driver, stays away from any form of alcohol as well. Tyler feels less anxious thanks to that.

He catches himself dozing off on Josh’s shoulder a couple of times but no one seems to notice. When finally a loud male voice echoes through the house, announcing: _five minutes to midnight!_ , the chaos begins. Everyone starts grabbing their drinks and looking for their jackets, quickly emerging outside. 

Josh helps Tyler put on his jacket and grabs his own. Instead of going out using the front door, he takes Tyler’s hand and leads him upstairs, all the way to the attic. 

„Trust me.” He winks. Tyler watches him as he climbs the dusty ladder, opens the hatch in the ceiling and quickly hops on the flat part of the rooftop. He offers his hand to help Tyler climb up. „This was my favorite spot when I was a kid. Everytime I had a row with my parents or siblings, or when I simply wanted to be alone, I used to climb up here, lay the blanket down and look at the sky for hours.” 

Tyler looks down at many groups of people gathering on the sidewalk, watches Josh’s family standing in the middle of the driveway. No one seems to notice them up there. Josh pulls him close and they hold each other for a while, looking around the neighborhood. 

Tyler squeezes Josh’s hand. It’s a silent thank you for getting him going, for giving him hope, for making him stay alive. When the countdown finally starts, Josh cups his cheek and tilts his chin up. They look into each other’s eyes on _five_ , lean in slightly on _three_ and close the gap between their mouths on _zero_. The blast of colorful fireworks lits up the sky while they enjoy the warmth of each other’s lips. Josh smiles into the kiss and moves his hand to the back of Tyler’s neck, pulling him in even closer. 

Kissing Josh is pure magic. His lips are soft and sweet from the piece of cake he ate right before they went outside. He cherishes every second, pressing his lips to Tyler’s in the gentlest way possible. It almost feels like a slow motion picture and Tyler doesn’t know how he’s still able to stand on his weak knees.

No one really ends the kiss first. They pull away at the same time, resting their foreheads together. They look up when another firework shoots right above their heads and Tyler falls into a full-on laughing fit. He has to clasp his hand over his mouth to stop himself.

„Hey, what’s so funny?”

„We got everything mixed up.” Tyler says, looking up at the fireworks once again. „I’ve met the parents… Well, I’ve met _the whole family_ before we even had our first kiss.”

„That’s true.” Josh smiles.

„I really like your mom.” Tyler blurts out without thinking.

„Dude, I just kissed you and you’re telling me that you like my mom. _Timing_ , Tyler.”

„Oh. Sorry.” 

„Rewind! Take two!” Josh annouces and before Tyler realizes what’s happening, the older boy’s lips are pressed against his own again. There’s a little bit more confidence this time, yet the kiss doesn’t lose its gentleness. When their mouths separate, Tyler can’t bring himself to look at Josh. „Well?”

„I really like _you_.”

„That sounds so much better. Are you gonna open your eyes?”

„Will you disappear if I do?” Tyler asks but looks at Josh again.

„There you are.” The older boy smiles lovingly. „You’re so pretty.”

„Oh, gosh. Stop it.”

„So cute. So adorable.” Josh chuckles and kisses his forehead. „Happy New Year, Tyler.”

„Happy New Year, Josh.” Tyler says. Somehow it feels like _happy_ has a chance to stop being his most hated word.

„Do you want to go back to the apartment with me?” Josh asks suddenly but then curses under his breath and bites his lip, nervously scratching his head. „I mean- Damn. Sorry. That sounded really wrong again. I just-”

„Hey. It’s fine.” Tyler takes his hand and looks him in the eyes, kissing his knuckles. „It’s fine. I’d _really_ appreciate it if we left right now.” 

He smiles when the look of realization passes across Josh’s face. He quickly pecks Tyler’s lips and literally drags him downstairs, looking for his mother.

„You can’t leave yet! The party is not over!” Laura says loudly with disappointed expression on her face when Josh hugs her goodbye.

„Momma, let them go.” Ashley intervenes, passing his mother another glass of champagne. „It’s the New Year’s Eve, they’re in love, they’re just kissed on the rooftop… They want to be _alone_ now.”

„They can be alone in Josh’s old bedroom!”

„It’s not a good idea, mom. Trust me on this.” Josh’s sister laughs and sends them off with a wave of her hand. „Come on, let’s find dad.”

 

Even if they leave the party excited, the car ride is silent once again. Josh keeps stealing tiny glances at Tyler who has his gaze focused somewhere outside the passenger window.

„What are you thinking about?” 

„Dunno.” Tyler mumbles. „Me. You. How everything has changed so quickly.”

„But it’s a good change, isn’t it?” Josh asks quietly.

„I guess.” The younger boy shrugs, still not meeting his eyes.

„Hey. What’s wrong?”

„I’m not sure. I think I’m just… nervous.”

„It’s only me, Tyler.” Josh says, reaching out and rubbing his hand up and down Tyler’s thigh.

„I know.” He nods, smiling briefly, covering Josh’s hand with his own and linking their fingers together. They hold hands until Josh has to let go and change the gears.

 

When Josh finally stops the car outside his apartment building, Tyler’s heart jumps up to his throat. Just an hour ago he was excited about the idea of going back home with Josh but now his anxiety makes him feel nouseous. Tyler knows that Josh has been anything but soft and gentle with him so far and he doesn’t have any reason to be afraid of taking another step with him but the fear is stronger. For the last two years, sex has been nothing but a terrible experience.

They enter the apartment, close the door behind them and take their jackets off. Before Tyler can think of anything to say or do, Josh attacks his neck and pushes him against the wall in the hallway. He sneaks one of his hands under Tyler’s shirt while the other starts to fiddle with the button of his jeans. Tyler whimpers, fighting with his own mind. _It’s Josh. It’s Josh. It’s Josh. I’m safe. It’s Josh._

„Tyler? _Love_ , you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”

„Not here, please.” Tyler lets out a shaky breath. „Not like this. Not standing up, not with me against the wall. _Please_.” He closes his eyes and squeezes them shut tightly, trying to get his breathing under control.

„Okay. Okay, shh.” Josh embraces him and leads him through the flat, straight to the bedroom. He helps Tyler sit down on the bed and gently pushes him down, until Tyler’s head hits the pillow. Josh kneels beside him. „Is it better here?” 

„Yes.” Tyler nods, breathing in the familiar scent of the sheets. 

„If you’re not ready, we can stop. Just be honest with me.”

„No! I’m fine now. I promise. It’s good. We can… We can continue. I want this.”

Josh keeps his eyes on Tyler for a little bit longer before throwing his leg over his hip and straddling him. He takes his time, slowly unbuttoning the shirt and running his fingers over Tyler’s torso. He kisess him deeply on the lips.

With Tyler’s permission, Josh helps him remove his clothes, leaving him in his boxers briefs. Tyler feels himself growing hard when Josh starts running his warm hands all over his body again. He closes his eyes, trying to relax as much as possible and enjoy the sensation. 

Josh starts to trail butterfly kisses all over the younger boy’s face, neck and chest. He takes his time to pay more attention to the left side of Tyler’s body that’s still covered in yellow, healing bruises. He keeps moving down until he reaches the younger boy’s crotch and ghosts his lips over Tyler’s clothed, hard member. 

Tyler swallows back a moan, involuntarily arching his back.

„Josh.” Tyler says breathlessly. „I need you to know... I’ve never been- I mean, back in the days when I used to… I don’t know. I’m not sure if I’m clean. I’m sorry.” He chokes out. „I understand if you don’t want to... Anymore. I-”

He tries to explain himself but it only makes Josh look up and smile at him. He reaches to the bedside table drawer and takes out a small bottle of lube. He teases Tyler through the material of his boxer briefs for a few more minutes before sliding them down and pouring a few drops of the transparent, flower-scented gel onto his hand. Their lips meet again and Tyler moans into the kiss when Josh wraps his fingers around his length and starts stroking him slowly and carefully. 

Tyler is loss for words. He wants to say something but he’s too drunk on the feeling of Josh’s hand wrapped around him and nothing comes out of his mouth besides short puffs of air and breathy moans. He loses count of how many times he has repeated Josh’s name in those last few minutes.

„You’re so gorgeous.” Josh murmurs. „So beautiful.”

„Josh-” Tyler gasps, throwing his head back and clenching his teeth. „Josh, I-”

„Come on, baby. Let go. Cum for me, angel.”

Tyler wants to last. He wants to hold back as long as he can but it’s impossible when Josh’s fingers stroke and squeeze in all the right places, smearing precome all over his dick. A ball of pleasure keeps building up in the pit of his stomach and Tyler can’t stop himself from letting out even more loud, desperate noises. 

The tempo increases almost unnoticeably and Josh keeps it that way until Tyler’s stomach clenches, he lets out a groan and comes all over the older man’s hand. He hides his face behind his hands, trying to get rid of the wetness gathering under his eyelids.

When he looks at Josh again, the first thing he sees is Josh’s right hand, buried deep inside his pants, moving quickly. Tyler tries to prop himself up on his elbow and reach out to return the favor but Josh shakes his head and pushes him back against the pillows. 

„Tonight is about you. Not about me.” He says between his own quiet whimpers.

Tyler pulls him down by the back of his neck and smashes their mouths together. They don’t stop kissing until Josh makes himself come and collapses on top of Tyler’s chest.

„Thank you.” Tyler whispers after a while, running his fingers through Josh’s red locks. „For making me feel worthy again.”

 

Tyler wakes up with his back pressed to Josh’s chest and the older boy’s arm wrapped around his waist. He rolls over, stealing as much warmth as possible and stares at Josh’s peaceful face and his slightly parted lips. The memory of last night flashes before his eyes: Josh kissed him. Josh gave him a handjob. _He had sex with Josh._

He carefully untagles himself out of Josh’s grip, slips out of the bed, grabs his sweatpants and goes to the kitchen. He makes himself a cup of coffee and stops by the window, watching the freezing world. He sighs. He lets his anxiety take over, he lets himself overthink again and go through every possible bad scenario. His brain is racing a hundred million miles per hour, overflooding with _what if_ questions. 

He loses the track of time and doesn’t even notice Josh who walks into the kitchen until there are hands on his hips and lips on his neck. 

„Good morning.” Josh purrs straight into his ear, stealing the cup of untouched coffee from Tyler’s hands and taking a sip. „This is disgustingly cold. How long have you been standing here that your coffee turned into iced coffee?”

„I don’t know. I zoned out, I guess.”

„Hmm.” Josh puts the cup down on the window sill and rests his chin on Tyler’s bare shoulder. He wraps his arms around Tyler’s waist and glances through the window. „This is nice. I would kill for another week off but I have to go back to work tomorrow.”

„Don’t worry. I will leave.” Tyler says quietly.

Josh spins him around and looks at him with a deep frown.

„What?”

„It was… amazing, being able to spend the last couple of days with you. Thank you for making me feel so welcome. I know it’s time to face the reality again.”

„Tyler, are you feverish?” Josh puts his hand on Tyler’s forehead. „Did you hit your head?”

„Stop it.” Tyler hisses, slapping Josh’s hand away. „You know what I mean. I’m really grateful for what you’ve done. For the hope that you gave me, the warm place to stay. You made me fall in love with Christmas once again.” He takes a few steps back. 

„What are you saying? You- You want to leave? Just like that?”

„Josh, you have a life. You have a job. You have your own problems and worries. I don’t want to be a burden.”

„You’re not a burden, oh my God!” Josh groans, nervously running his fingers through his hair. „Where will you go? What will you do? Where will you sleep? What will you _eat_?!”

„I’ll survive.” Tyler hangs his head and stares at the floor.

„How!?” The older man yells, losing his patience. „On making money by sucking random dicks again!?” He starts pacing around the kitchen and Tyler exhales shakily. _Oh. That stung_. „Does this…” Josh continues. „Does this mean nothing to you? What we have now?”

„Josh, please…”

„No, _sure_. Go! I can’t stop you, can I?” He huffs. Tyler looks up at him, noticing that the older boy’s eyes are glistening with unshared tears. „Thanks for being my one-day boyfriend. You can leave whenever. I will just go back to bed and pretend that this conversation has never happened and that my heart hasn’t been shattered to pieces.”

With that, Josh turns on his heel and walks back to the bedroom, leaving Tyler in the middle of the kitchen. He furiously wipes his eyes before disappearing in the hallway.

Tyler rubs his hands over his face, fighting a huge internal battle with himself. He feels like the worst shit. A crying Josh is the last thing Tyler would ever wish to see and now he’s the reason of Josh’s breakdown. Josh doesn’t deserve to cry over a worthless homeless boy.

Tyler takes a long, deep breath, composes himself and goes after Josh. He finds him on the bed, laying on his stomach with his head hidden under a pillow. His shoulders are shaking with the sobs and Tyler wants to punch himself in the face. He sits down on the mattress next to Josh and puts his hand on his back. The other man tenses, hardening his grip on the pillow but Tyler manages to unclench his fists and throws it to the floor. 

Josh is facing the center of the bed and Tyler knows that he’s trying really hard not to look at him. His eyes are focused on something imperceptible for the yonger boy and tears are still leaking from his eyes.

Tyler climbs further onto the bed and lowers himself down right next to Josh, making sure that he’s on the same eye-level. He reaches out and strokes Josh’s cheek and jaw. 

„Do you really want me to stay?” Tyler asks quietly but Josh doesn’t react. „I’m really fucked up, Josh. I don’t want you to end up being miserable because of me.” He sighs, shifts closer and craddles Josh into his arms, tucking the older boy’s head under his chin. „Please, don’t be mad.” 

„You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Josh mumbles against Tyler’s chest after an agonizingly long moment of silence. „I _need_ you here. I was miserable before we met but now, my life has purpose again. I know everything is happening really fast, probably _too_ fast but… Please, stay. I really want you to stay. I was serious before: I want you to move in, I want you to be my boyfriend. You’re so important to me... I don’t want you to be perfect, I want you to be _you_.” 

„Okay...” Tyler nods quickly, still processing the confession and pulling Josh even closer. He’s never seen him looking so fragile before. „Okay, I will stay. It’s just…” He sighs and starts playing with Josh’s hair. „There’s a voice inside my head, telling me things. I woke up this morning and I could hear him. He was telling me- Uh, nevermind. I just thought you wouldn’t want me around anymore after the festive time is over. I’m really sorry for making you upset.” He says but Josh only hums, nuzzling his face against Tyler’s collarbone. He’s still tense and Tyler desperately needs an ice-breaker. „Hey.” He whispers, leaning down and kissing the tip of Josh’s nose. „Do you want to try again?”

„What do you mean?” Josh sniffles and clears his throat.

„Well…” Tyler smirks. „I will go to the kitchen, make coffee and wait for you there. You will pretend that you only just woke up, you will steal a sip from my cup and we will exchange _good mornings_. And then we will make out against the fridge until our tongues fall off and my coffee goes cold again.”

Josh laughs, rolling onto his back and finally looking at Tyler.

„Can we skip the going-to-the-kitchen part and just make out in bed?”

„As you wish.” Tyler smiles widely and crashes their mouths together. „Good morning.” He says between passionate kisses but before they can lead to something more, Josh pulls off and looks at Tyler.

„Last night, in the hallway. You got scared. What was that?”

„You’re a _fucking_ mood killer, Josh. I swear to God.” Tyler groans, rolling his eyes.

„Does it have anything to do with you getting beaten up?” Josh asks.

„No.” Tyler answers, a little bit too quickly.

„Don’t lie to me. What really happened before you came here?”

„Nothing. Can we please go back to-” He tries to kiss Josh again but the other man turns his head to the side, avoiding any contact. He pushes Tyler off himself and sits up, pressing his back against the headboard. 

„Tell me.” He insists.

Tyler lets out a scowl but copies Josh and shifts on the bed until they sit next to each other.

„I found myself in the wrong place and the wrong time. Happy?”

„No.” Josh shakes his head. „Tyler, _please_.”

Tyler ruffles his hair and looks around the room, trying to avoid making an eye contact with Josh.

„I was walking down the street and I stumbled upon a group of drunken guys. They looked familiar and it turned out that one of them was my old _client_. I hoped he wouldn’t recognize me but he did and he asked me if I wanted to… You know.” He points to his crotch. „I said no. They offered me money. They literally waved a bunch of dollar bills right before my face but I said no again. I tried to walk away and... they got angry. Two of them dragged me to the alley and pinned me to the wall with a pocket knife close to my neck. I couldn’t do anything. The guy… Uh. The _client_... He took off my pants and started to-” Tyler clears his throat. „I was too scared to get it up, so he pushed me to the ground and made me suck him off instead.” He says and Josh’s hand sneaks between them, linking their fingers together. „They were laughing. He called me a pathetic whore and I lost it. I bit his dick, really hard, to the point where I could taste his blood. I got up and tried to escape but his friends were faster. I only managed to get the next alley. Well, it’s kinda hard to run with your pants around your ankles.”

„Tyler, did they-”

Tyler shakes his head. 

„I don’t think they were interested in my ass as much as their friend. So no, they didn’t rape me, only beat the crap out of me. They took their time, made sure to punch and kick every inch of my body. They left me in the alley and went back to help their friend. I was scared that they would come back to finish their job or maybe slit my throat or something, so I got up and tried to walk away as far and as fast as I could. And then I saw your building. I sneaked in when some old woman was walking out of the main door.” Tyler sighs and bites his lip. „When you pinned me against the wall and unbuttoned my pants, I had a mini-flashback. For a moment I saw him, not you.”

„Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Josh says, pulling him into a hug. „I’m so sorry.”

„It’s okay.” Tyler smiles. „Shit happens. But I’m fine now, thanks to you.”

 

Josh catches Tyler sneaking out in the middle of the night four times during the next two weeks. The first time it happens, Josh yells until it makes both of them cry. Tyler leaves but comes back in the morning with blue lips, shaking violently. The second time he doesn’t yell but they argue until Tyler gives up and goes back to bed with him. The last two times Josh doesn’t say anything - he simply follows Tyler to the door, slams it right in front of his face, hoists him up throwing the boy over his shoulder and carries him back to the room. 

Every single day Josh reminds Tyler how much he wants him to stay and every single day Tyler promises he will. Josh never believes him.

But then, Tyler stops sneaking out. He spends days reading newspapers and marking ads with job offers, stares at Josh’s laptop for hours, scrolls through long lists of hiring companies and never lets go of the phone that Josh bought him as a very late Christmas present, hoping it will finally ring.

Josh’s heart hurts when he watches him changing from a happy boy, excited about finding a job and changing his life to an emotional wreck, worried about not being able to pay the rent or bills. He watches him as he runs out of the apartment for another job interview wearing Josh’s finest tie and a half of a bottle of Josh’s cologne on his neck just to come back two hours later with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

„It’s alright, Tyler.” Josh sighs and hugs him when one afternoon he finds him on the floor in the living room sobbing and furiously wiping his eyes. When he glances at the laptop, he notices another: _We’re really sorry but_ … e-mail on the screen.

„I feel like a parasite, Josh.” Tyler sniffles. „I can’t even afford to buy milk.”

„Hey, don’t worry. You will eventually find something.”

„What?” The younger boy snaps. „What can I possibly find!? I’m twenty-three years old and the only experience I’ve ever had was flipping burgers in a place no one has ever heard about and giving blowjobs. There’s not much to put in my CV, is there!? I’m a useless piece of shit, that’s what I am!”

„Tyler-”

„No, _fuck you_! You don’t understand!”

With that, Tyler frees himself out of Josh’s embrace and storms off to the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Josh decides to give him some time to cool off but when after two hours Tyler is still nowhere to be seen, he decides to check up on him.

„Are you done being ridiculous?” He asks, leaning against the doorframe. As the answer, Tyler covers his head with a blanket. „I’ll take it as a no. Too bad. There’s a box of pizza waiting in the kitchen. I guess I will have to eat it all by myself.” 

When he still doesn’t get the answer, he counts to fifty, comes closer to the bed and rips the blanket off of Tyler, causing him to let out a short scream. 

„Jesus _fucking_ Christ, you almost scared me to _fucking_ death, why _the fuck_ would you do that!?” Tyler mumbles angrily and Josh knows it’s bad when Tyler can’t stop throwing curses into every sentence.

„Pizza. You’re coming or not?” He asks.

„No.”

„Oh, so now... What? You will starve yourself to prove a point or?”

„Why are you so mean!?”

„Because you’re ridiculous.” Josh sighs.

„So you said.” Tyler snatches the blanket from his hands and hides underneath the material again.

„Okay then.” The older man says, turning on his heel and leaving the bedroom.

 

After another two hours of staring at the ceiling and fighting with his own pride mixed with guilt, Tyler leaves the room wrapped in a blanket. He shuffles to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and notices a box of untouched, cold pizza on the table. Taking a deep breath, he turns to the living room where Josh sits on the couch, staring at his phone. 

He sits down and shares the blanket with the other man, throwing it over Josh’s back. He shifts, throwing his legs over Josh’s thighs and cuddling against his side. He pushes his head under the older boy’s chin and watches his lame attempts of completing a sudoku puzzle.

„Put _nine_ here and _four_ here.” He points at the empty squares. „Then _two_ here and _six_ here and you’ll have these two rows completed.”

Josh hums quietly in response but does as suggested. He fills a few more rows with numbers before putting his phone down and kissing the younger boy’s head.

„I love you.” Tyler blurts out and Josh freezes. „Oh, oh God. I’m sorry! It’s probably too soon, I’m sorry, I-” He tries to shift away but strong hands keep him in place.

„No, no!” Josh shakes his head and smiles. „It’s okay! Tyler, it’s okay. I love you too.”

„Really?”

„Yes. I just… I wasn’t expecting it, you know? I thought… I thought you don’t really feel the same way.”

„I love you.” Tyler says again, craddling Josh’s face in his hands and kissing him gently on the lips. „I love you _so much_ and I feel like the biggest shit knowing that I live in your apartment and I use your electronics, and I sleep in your bed, and I wear your clothes, and I eat your food, and I can’t pay for anything! I’m trying... I’m trying so hard to find a job, I could scrub public toilets for all I care but no one ever calls me back anymore. It’s like they know that I’m so useless that it’s not even worth it to give me a chance.” 

„ _Baby._..” Josh coos and Tyler never wants to stop hearing this petname. „You’re not useless, stop saying that. You’ve already said it so many times that you’re really starting to believe it. You are not useless, do you hear me?”

„But I-”

„No. You’re amazing, okay? Everyone starts at the bottom, Tyler. This is how the real world works. I’ve been there, you know? I dropped out of college, I had absolutely no experience in any field and no one wanted to hire me but then, finally someone gave me a chance. Since then it's only gotten better.” He squeezes Tyler’s hand. „It’s gonna be alright. Don’t worry about money, okay? I know it probably makes you feel uncomfortable but I’ve saved enough. We’ll be fine for a long time. So _please_ , stop mentally punching yourself.” Josh says. „Maybe you really should start giving piano lessons? Have you thought about that?”

„My fingers don’t work as fast as they used to. I can’t teach people how to play when I can’t remember most of the things.” Tyler sighs.

„There’s a piano in this flat, you know?” Josh nuzzles his nose against Tyler’s temple. „It’s just a piano, not a venomous snake and it doesn’t bite. You can actually _touch_ it.”

„But it hurts my ears when I press the wrong keys and it’s probably more painful than getting bitten by any snake.”

„You haven’t played in six years, Tyler. No one expects you to play like… Uhm.” Josh frowns. „Who was good at the piano? Help me out!”

„Glenn Gould?” 

„I have no idea who are you talking about but sure. So, yeah. No one expects you to play like Glenn Gould. You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

„Glenn Gould was incredible at the piano.” Tyler sighs. „Glenn Gould was my first mancrush.”

„Who was the second?”

„Harrison Ford.”

„Third?”

„David Bowie.” Tyler says. „The fourth was-”

„Dude, am I even on the list?” Josh interrupts in a fake-offended tone.

Tyler leans back, scanning Josh’s body from head to toe. He shrugs.

„Nah...”

Before he can react, Josh pushes him on his back and pins him to the couch, tickling his sides, making him scream and laugh. Fooling around for another few minutes leaves them tired and breathless.

„ _I love you_.” They say exactly at the same time and it sends them into another fit of giggles.

Tyler pushes his nose into the crook of Josh’s neck. He never wants to leave.

 

The sound of the piano fills the apartment from early mornings to late evenings. Tyler never remembers to close the door to the music room but somehow, the neighbors don’t complain. Josh is not surprised. Tyler was born to play the piano. 

For the first couple of days Tyler gets angry at himself for making mistakes and even more angry at Josh for _listening_ to his mistakes even if the older man can’t really tell when Tyler presses the wrong key. 

It gets better with time and Tyler remembers almost everything he has learned a few years ago. He can read the notes without any trouble and finally, lets Josh sit in the same room when he plays. 

There are some classical pieces Josh definitely recognizes. Tyler turns out to be a big fan of Beethoven so _the Moonlight Sonata_ echoes through the apartment at least three times a day. Josh often catches himself humming it under his breath on his way to work. He watches Tyler play it so many times that if he got woken up in the middle of the night and told to play it, he probably would – simply from memorizing the way Tyler’s fingers always dance over the keys.

 

One day, when Josh gets back home earlier than usually, the apartment is filled with the sound of the piano again but this time the melody is unfamiliar. Tyler plays it unhesitatingly, like he’s been practicing for a long time. 

Josh pads over to the music room, quietly opens the door and leans against the doorframe, watching his boyfriend: Tyler is lost in his own world, pressing keys and pedals, humming sofly and mumbling to himself. Sometimes he stops for a moment to write something down in his notebook. When Josh is about to come closer, Tyler hits the keys again and starts to sing. And, _oh boy_ , Josh’s jaw drops down to the floor because that’s definitely new - he’s never heard Tyler’s singing voice before. He had no idea that Tyler could _sing._

_Hello_

_We haven't talked in quite some time_

_I know_

_I haven't been the best_

_Of sons_

_Hello_

_I've been traveling in_

_The desert of my mind_

_And I_

_Haven't found a drop_

_Of life_

_I haven't found a drop_

_Of you_

_I haven't found a drop_

_Of water_

_I try desperately to run through the sand_

_As I hold the water_

_In the palm of my hand_

_‘Cause it's all that I have_

_And it's all that I need and…_

Tyler stops playing and lets out a loud growl, angrily hitting random keys with his open palms, startling Josh. The boy reaches for his phone and presses it against his ear.

Josh’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket and two seconds later the loud, heavy tunes of _Smells Like Teen Spirit_ fill the room, causing Tyler to jump up, lose his balance and land on the floor on his butt. He quickly turns around and looks at Josh with a shocked expression on his face and his hand pressed to his chest.

„Seriously?” He pants, breathing deeply and trying to calm himself.

„Sorry?”

„How long have you been even standing there?”

„Long enough. You’ve been writing songs, huh?” Josh asks, coming closer and helping Tyler stand up. Tyler immediately drops his gaze to the floor and blushes „Hey...” Josh pecks his lips. „That’s fine. I’m just wondering why you’ve never showed me.”

„They’re not good.” Tyler shakes his head. „I was just… experimenting. It’s nothing. I’m just killing time.”

„ _Not good_? That tiny piece was really deep. And you sing really well.”

„Oh... Thank you?”

„Do you have more of them?” Josh asks and Tyler slowly nods his head. „Will you show me sometime? I could add some drum beat to them. If you wanted, of course.”

„Really!?” 

„Sure. That’d be fun.” Josh smiles. „Wait, what did you want earlier, when you were calling me?”

„I wanted you to get me a dictionary.”

„A dictionary?”

„Yes. A dictionary. A real one, so I can hold in my hands, look up the words, make notes, draw things when I’m brainstorming, fold pages and tear them when I’m frustrated. A physical copy.”

„Alright. A dictionary. I will buy you one tomorrow, okay? The thickest one they have in a bookstore.”

„Perfect.” Tyler grins. „Thank you. Why are you back so early, though?”

„I have news!” Josh says, suddenly excited about sharing it with his boyfriend. He grabs Tyler’s hand, leads him to the living room and makes him sit on the couch. He folds his leg under him so he can face the boy. „My boss has a son, yeah? Kevin. He’s obsessed with pianos. Sometimes Michael brings him to work for a few minutes before we open and he always sits by the piano and presses random keys. He doesn’t say much, he almost doesn’t talk at all. I think there’s something mentally wrong with him but Michael has never said anything about it and we’ve never asked. But yeah, the whole world can stop existing when he sees our piano. So today I came up to him and I was like: _hey, you know what, my boyfriend is a fantastic piano player and he could teach you a few things_ and I swear to God, Tyler, I’ve never seen him so excited before. Even Michael was shocked about the sudden mood change. He said they could give it a try but only if you agree. He could bring Kevin in the afternoons, a few times a week? He’s willing to pay you as much as a professional piano tutor charges per hour.”

„Are you serious?” Tyler looks up at him with wide eyes and Josh nods enthusiastically but then the boy’s face suddenly changes and horror flashes across his face. „But- But what if I’m not good enough? What if I suck at explaining things? What if he doesn’t like me?”

„You will be the best teacher.” Josh assures. „You write your own music, Tyler. That says a lot about your skills! Kevin is eight. He’s shy and terrified of the world. Make him focus on something, teach him how to play _Itsy Bitsy Spider_ and he will be more than happy. You could start next week.”

„Next week? It’s only Wednesday, I could start tomorrow, I have nothing better to do anyway.”

„Impossible. He’s staying with his grandmother tomorrow and you’re busy on Friday. I can set you up for Tuesday.”

„I’m busy on Friday?” Tyler frowns.

„Yes. Actually, you’re busy the whole weekend.” Josh says.

„What!? Why?”

„I’m sorry but I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

 

Tyler almost forgets about the _surprise_ but when he gets violently woken up on Friday morning, he knows that he won’t get away with it. Josh throws a set of clean clothes at him and yells something about _leaving in thirty minutes_. 

He groans, hiding his head under the pillow and dozes off again. He’s not able to enjoy the quiet for too long - when Josh walks back to the bedroom and sees that Tyler is not making any efforts to get ready, he pushes him out of the bed and tickles until he cries from laughter. When Tyler finally manages to free himself, he escapes to the bathroom.

After shoving a sandwich into his mouth and quickly gulping down a cup of black coffee, Josh pushes him outside and leads him to the car.

„So? Where are you taking me?” Tyler asks, yawning heavily and buckling his seatbelt.

„It’s a surprise.” Josh says and starts the engine.

„I really hate surprises, Josh.”

„Oh, you will _love_ this one.”

Tyler sighs. He knows he won’t win with Josh so he sinks into the seat and lets the other man take him anywhere he wants. The ride is short and he recognizes the part of the city they’re driving through. He tenses when the car stops in the parking lot next to the same train station where Tyler ended up after arriving to Columbus.

„Why are we here? Are we going somewhere?” He asks, clenching his fists and swallowing nervously. Josh only shakes his head. „Are you sending me off? Are you trying to get rid of me?”

„No, Tyler.”

„Then what!?”

„Come on, we have to hurry. We have two more minutes.” Josh says, checking the time on his phone. He locks the car and starts to walk towards the station but Tyler doesn’t move. The older man looks over his shoulder and stops abruptly. He walks back to the car and offers Tyler his hand. „Trust me?”

After a few more seconds of hesitation, he takes Josh’s hand and lets him lead them to the platforms. They stop walking at the same time when a female voice coming from the speakers announces the approaching train.

_The train from Chicago is approaching. Please remain behind yellow line._

„What the hell is happening?” Tyler whispers but Josh only squeezes his hand.

When the train finally arrives and halts to stop with a loud screeching noise, Tyler watches his boyfriend lifting himself up on his toes, clearly looking for someone in the sea of unknown faces leaving through the automatic doors.

Tyler feels himself shaking slightly from the sudden wave of anxiety that starts flooding his body. It’s obvious that Josh wants him to meet someone and Tyler is not sure if he’s ready to stand face to face with whoever it is.

The crowd slowly scatters and Josh suddenly lets go of Tyler’s hand, grinning from ear to ear. He jumps up and down a few times, waving both of his arms in the air. Tyler notices a young blonde-haired girl who waves back and starts running towards them. She shouts Tyler’s name and throws herself at him before he can react. The force makes him stumble a few steps back and he tries to save himself from the fall, reaching out and grabbing the girl’s shoulders. She repeats his name two more times, embracing him tightly. 

She finally pulls away from the hug but still keeps her hands on his body. She touches his arms and his face, keeping her cold hands on his cheeks for a little bit longer. Tyler finally opens his eyes after the unexpected attack and looks at the girl. When their eyes meet, his heart stops and his breath catches in his throat. Tears start streaming down his face before he knows it.

„Hey...” She says softly, wiping them away. „Tyler...”

„Are you real?” He asks, sniffling. „Are you really her?”

„Yes, Tyler, who do you think I-”

„Prove it.” He says firmly, snapping her hands away. „ _Fucking_ prove it.”

„Tyler!” Josh hisses from where he’s standing beside him.

„It’s fine.” The girl says quickly, looking at Josh, wordlessly telling him to stay where he is. „It’s fine, Josh. I’ve changed a whole lot, he has the right to be distrustful.” She turns to Tyler again and smiles at him.

„Well?” He says impatiently, his throat tightening.

She squints her eyes and bites her lip, clearly trying to think about something. Finally, she reaches behind her head, undoing the ponytail and letting her blonde locks fall loosely on her shoulders. She puts the hair claw in Tyler’s hand.

„Brother Tyler, may you braid my hair?” She asks, looking at him with hope in her eyes.

The realization hits him like a speeding truck. It feels like all the air has been sucked from his lungs and suddenly, his knees get weak and he’s _falling_. Josh catches him mid-fall before he can hit the ground and pulls him close to his chest. 

„This is my sister.” Tyler mumbles against the material of Josh’s hoodie. 

„I know.” Josh nods.

„This is Madison. She’s my sister.”

„I know, Tyler. I know.”

„She’s here.” Tyler states. „She’s my sister and she’s here.”

„Yes, baby, she’s here.” Josh chuckles, kissing the side of his head. Tyler closes his eyes, pushing his face into the crook of Josh’s neck. „He’s completely out of it.” He hears the older boy laughing quietly. „I have never seen him so shocked before. Come on, Mads. Let’s get him home.”

Tyler doesn’t remember anything from the ride home. Everything seems too surreal to be actually happening, so when he opens his eyes again and realizes he’s on the couch in the living room, he’s convinced it was all a dream. But then someone squeezes his hand and when he turns his head he sees the same blonde-haired girl, sitting on the floor next to him. He sits up suddenly, looking at her with wide eyes.

„Madison.” He says, sliding to the ground and kneeling right in front of her.

„Hello, Ty.” She says, smiling. 

„Madison.” Tyler breaths out, throwing his arms around her neck. „You’re real. You’re here and you’re real.” He says, pulling back to craddle her face in his hands and press their foreheads together. „My God. You’re really here!”

And then, he starts laughing. He’s laughing and Madison is laughing with him. 

„Well, well, well.” Josh’s amused voice comes from the doorway and Tyler looks over to see him leaning against the wall. „Look who’s awake. Welcome back to the world of the living.” 

Tyler ignores him and turns to his sister again.

„But- What are you even doing here?” He asks, tucking her hair behind her ear. „You’re so grown-up! And so beautiful!”

„You’re not bad yourself.” Madison giggles. „And I must say, your boyfriend is quite a hottie.”

„He is, isn’t he?” Tyler glances at Josh with a sneaky grin on his face. Josh rolls his eyes and groans in embarrassment.

„Speaking of your boyfriend, he found me on Facebook.” His sister says. „He sent me a message asking if I’m the family of Tyler Joseph. I gave him my number. We’ve been texting back and forth and we’ve talked a few times since then. He even facetimed me once to prove that he’s not some creepy old pervert and showed me your ID card so I could confirm that we’ve been speaking about the right person.”

„I sent lots of messages.” Josh says, shuffling closer and sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Tyler. „I created a Facebook account just to find her. I think I messaged every single Madison, Mads and Maddy Joseph I could find.”

„Why would you do that?” Tyler frowns.

„I don’t know... I wanted to make you happy, I guess.” Josh shrugs, nervously picking at the skin around his thumb. „You still carry that old photo of you and your sister everywhere you go. I thought you would like to see her again.”

„Oh, about that photo...” Madison reaches for her backpack and digs in it for a while. She pulls something out and hands Tyler the very same picture of them together. This one is freshly printed and framed. „Josh told me that the one you have is pretty destroyed so I brought you a new copy.”

„I don’t know what to say.” Tyler shakes his head, stroking the wooden photo frame with his thumb. „This is- Uhm. Wow. Josh, I-” He leans into the touch when a warm hand touches his back. „Thank you so much. Thank you. I love you.”

„I love you too.” Josh smiles, tilting Tyler’s chin up with his free hand and kissing him softly on the lips. „So much.”

„Aww, aren’t you two the cutest?” Madison squeals and Tyler blushes but smiles anyway.

They stay in the same spot on the floor, hugging, until Josh’s phone dings and he rolls his eyes, slowly pulling away.

„Sorry, sweet pea, I gotta go. The afternoon shift is calling my name.” He sighs. „I won’t be back until eleven so you can either cook something or order takeaway. I left money on the counter. Madison is your guest so better make her feel at home.” Josh winks, stealing a quick peck from him and stands up.

„You’re staying?” Tyler frowns, looking at the girl.

„Of course! We have six years to catch up on!” She laughs. When Josh disappears in the bathroom to quickly freshen up before his shift, Madison crawls over to Tyler with excitement painted all over his face. „Are you kidding me!?” She whisper-shouts. „You’re dating a walking _perfection_! Where did you even find him!?”

„Oh, Maddy.” He sighs with a troubled smile. „I have so much to tell you.”

And he does, he tells her everything like he told Josh. He doesn’t keep anything from her, he tells her about his lowest points, he tells her about his boyfriend. He ends up crying and Madison can’t stop apologizing for their parents’ mistakes.

„I’m so sorry, Tyler.” She says quietly, wiping her eyes. „I’m sorry it happened to you. You didn’t deserve this hell.”

„It’s okay.”

„It’s not okay!” She throws her hands in the air and almost growls in frustration. „It’s not okay. And I’m so glad I’m moving out of the house next month to live with my boyfriend. I wouldn’t be able to look at them any longer. They’re disgusting human beings!”

„How are they doing?” Tyler asks quietly, even if he doesn’t want to know. Somewhere deep in his soul he wants her to say that they’ve changed and they miss him but none of that happens. 

„Who? Parents? I wish I could say something good but...” Madison shakes her head. „They haven’t changed, Tyler. They’re still the same homophobic assholes, they still go to church every Sunday and pray for _sinners_. I’m sorry.”

„That’s… fine. I haven’t expected anything else, really.” He drops his gaze to the ground. 

„But you’re happy now, right? You have Josh and you can be yourself.”

„I am happy.” He smiles. _Yes, I am slowly getting the control over my own life, I have a loving boyfriend, I just found my sister. Yes, I am happy_. „I really am.”

 

Josh finds them passed out on the couch with their limbs tangled together. Madison is sleeping with her head on Tyler’s shoulder and her mouth slightly open, and Tyler has his arms securily wrapped around her. The only source of the light is the TV, playing quietly in the background. Josh knows that the couch is not the most comfortable furniture in the apartment but he doesn’t have a heart to wake them up. Instead, he covers them with a warm blanket, turns off the TV and quietly shuffles to the bedroom.

For the next two days he watches them talk, whisper, cry, laugh and argue. He watches Tyler bounce with happiness, he watches him follow Madison everywhere like he’s afraid that she will vanish once he stops looking. He backs off and watches everything from afar, letting them enjoy each other’s company. 

When the Monday morning comes and it’s time for Madison to finally go back to Chicago, she almost misses her train. Tyler wraps her in a hug and doesn’t let go until a minute before the departure. 

When the train finally disappears from the view and it’s time to go back home, Tyler breaks down. Josh leads him to the parking lot and makes him sit down on the hood of the car. He wraps his arms around the boy and keeps rocking him gently, kissing his forehead until Tyler calms down enough to start breathing properly again. 

„You will see each other again soon.” Josh assures, rubbing the younger boy’s back. „You have her number now, you can text her and call her every day.”

„I know.” Tyler nods, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. „It’s just… It’s a lot. We haven’t seen each other for six years and suddenly she’s here, and suddenly she’s not. But- Yeah, she said she will come back and bring Will so I can meet him. She was barely twelve when I left and now she’s all grown up and she has a boyfriend and she’s moving in with him. It’s a lot to process.” He sighs but then brings Josh’s close by the back of his neck and locks their lips. „Thank you.” He whispers between soft kisses. „Thank you so much for everything. I don’t deserve you.”

„You deserve the world, baby.” Josh smiles. „Come on. Let’s go get some ice-creams and be lazy all day.”

„Huh? Don’t you have work?”

„I took a day off. Somehow I knew you would need a little bit of emotional support today.”

 

On a Tuesday afternoon, when Josh is still at work and Tyler is sprawled out on the couch, mindlessly flipping through the channels, there’s a knock on the door. He tenses, not being used to opening doors for strangers but then remembers that Josh’s boss was supposed to drop by and bring his son for the first piano lesson. When he finally shuffles through the apartment and opens the door, he ends up standing face to face with a man in his late forty’s who’s standing on the doormat with his hands gently squeezing a small boy’s shoulders.

„Hi.” The man says. „I’m Michael.” He offers his hand and Tyler shakes it. „You must be Tyler Joseph.”

„Yeah. Yeah, hi, I’m Tyler.” 

„This is Kevin. We’re here for the piano lesson? I mean, not _we. He_ , obviously.” Michael looks down at his son, who starts shifting nervously in his spot.

„Of course. Hi, Kevin! Please, come in.” Tyler takes a few steps back to let them in. „Would you like something to drink?”

„I’m good, thanks. And he doesn’t really drink or eat in places he doesn’t know.” 

As soon as Tyler lets them inside the music room, Kevin lets go of his father’s hand and runs to the piano, immediately starting to press random keys. 

„Kevin!” Michael shouts. „You can’t just-”

„No, it’s fine! It’s fine. Let him play.” Tyler says, watching the boy but then turns to look at the man again. „So, you’re Josh’s boss.”

„I am. And depending on how _this_ works out, I’m either gonna fire him or give him a rise, I swear to God.”

„That’s… motivational.” Tyler swallows nervously, realizing that Josh’s career will be ruined if he screws up.

„Hey, don’t look so petrified!” Michael laughs. „I’m kidding, I won’t fire him, he’s one of my best employees. But yeah, if this works out, he’s getting a promotion… I’m really losing my mind. I can’t occupy him-” He discreetly points at his son. „-with anything. He’s chaotic and impatient, and playing the piano is the only thing that keeps him focused. You don’t have to act like a professional tutor and teach him all that history of music crap. I just want you to distract him for two hours, nothing strict, just… let him have fun?”

Tyler grins and nods quickly.

„I can definitely do that.”

„Great! I promise, you don’t have to deal with him every day. I could bring him here two times a week? Is that okay?”

„I’m free whenever.” He says quickly. „So, that’s completely up to you. Every day works just fine.”

„You won’t be saying that after spending the first hour with him.” Michael laughs.

„Let me be the judge of that. I-” He stops when Kevin starts to press the keys again, this time a little bit faster. Tyler’s head shots up, he turns around and comes closer to the boy. „Hey buddy, that was good! Can you try to play that again?”

 

They end up improvising for the next two hours, with Michael sitting on the bean bag in the corner of the room, watching them without a word. Tyler can’t stop himself from grinning. Even if most of the melodies Kevin comes up with are messy and they don’t make any sense, Tyler can clearly see how happy the little boy becomes because of them. He lets Kevin play his own _compositions_ but also tries to trick him into learning a thing or two about the meaning of the black and white keys and pedals (although Kevin can’t reach them with his feet). Sometimes he recalls the times he spent in his music school and tells the boy stories about pianos that he heard from his tutors. 

Tyler can swear that it’s not just some hopeless talking. Kevin nods his head a few times like he tries to process what Tyler is saying, like he tries to remember - even if he never says anything besides letting out a few quiet hums. 

When it’s time for them to go, Tyler walks them to the door. He’s about to say his goodbyes when suddenly a pair of tiny arms find their way to his waist and embrace him tightly. Tyler looks down in surprise to find Kevin pressed against him, with his cheek resting against his stomach.

Tyler glances at Michael, making an eye contact. He notices that the man is as shocked as he is, probably even more. He looks at his son with wide eyes and his mouth wide open.

For a moment Tyler doesn’t know what to do but when he finally snaps out of his shock, he smiles and ruffles the small boy’s messy hair. He gets down on his knees to be on the same eye-level with Kevin and boops him in the nose. The boy throws his arms around Tyler’s neck and he returns the hug without thinking twice.

„You’re a great kid.” Tyler says quietly into his ear while rubbing his back. „And even greater pianist! You can come back any time you feel like playing, okay?”

Kevin nods and steps away.

„Friends.” He says shyly, pointing to himself and then to Tyler.

„Of course we’re friends. Best friends!” Tyler smiles, not being able to stop himself from pulling the boy into another hug. „The bestest.”

„Bestest.” The boy giggles against his neck.

At the same time the lock in the door clicks and the front door opens, revealing Josh who walks inside with a grocery bag in his hand. He stops with a frown when he notices Tyler on his knees, holding Kevin in his arms, and the shocked expression on his boss’ face.

„Oh. Hi, Michael.” He starts. „Are you- Are you alright?”

„This...” Michael points to his son. „This has _never_ happened before.”

„Uhm. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?” 

„I’m a man of my word. You’re getting a rise, you _asshole_. And the promotion. No! Both, actually.” The man rubs his face with both of his hands. „Thank your boyfriend.”

„Wait, what?” Josh asks, looking questioningly at Tyler.

„Tyler!” Michael shouts, startling everyone. „I’ll bring your check later this week. I’m paying like for a professional. No, wait. Multiply that by two! Or three. I don’t really care.” He takes a deep breath, comes closer and picks up his son. Kevin immediately wraps his legs around his waist and buries his nose in his father’s neck. „Kevin, we’re leaving! We’ll be back on Thursday. Do you want to come back on Thursday?” He asks and the boy nods his head. „Jesus Christ. You didn’t need freaking doctors, you needed a Tyler Joseph in your life. Okay, okay. Can you say goodbye?”

The boy turns his head and peeks at Tyler.

„Bye.” He says in a small voice.

„Bye, kiddo.” Tyler laughs when Michael literally punches the air in victory. He waves his hand. „See you later.”

After Michael and his son leave and the door closes behind them, the apartment falls silent. Tyler is still kneeling on the floor and Josh is still standing in the same spot next to the wall with the plastic bag in his hand. They don’t say a word to each other, they just stare at the piece of the dark wood in front of them.

„What the heck just happened?” Josh asks, finally breaking the silence and turning to Tyler.

„No idea.” He says, standing up and crossing the hallway. He grabs Josh’s jacket, pulling him closer and crashes their mouth together. The red-haired boy lets go of the bag that lands on the floor with a thud and opens his mouth to let Tyler’s tongue in. His hands find their way under the material of Josh’s shirt and his boyfriend moans into the kiss. „I have no idea.” Tyler says again, smiling against his lips. „But I really like your boss.” 

„Timing, Tyler!” Josh groans and rolls his eyes. „Freaking _timing_! Oh. My. God!”

„Sorry.”

 

**2 years later.**

On December 1st, on Tyler’s 25th birthday, Josh spoils him as much as he can. He wakes him up leaving a trail of soft kisses down his neck and chest, and brings him breakfast in bed along with a big but light box, with a bright red ribbon tied in a bow on top of the package.

Tyler undoes the wrapping and stops dead after opening the box.

„It’s a ukulele.” He states, staring at the tiny guitar.

„You always say that you want to learn a new instrument but you can’t decide what you should go for next. I decided to save you the trouble.” Josh laughs. „It’s cute and innocent, just like you.”

„Oh, Joshua… You know that I am not as innocent as I seem.” Tyler winks. „But thank you. It _is_ cute. Just wait for all the hawaiian-sounding love songs I’m going to write for you.”

 

In the evening, Josh takes him out on a date to their favorite Italian restaurant and for a late-night walk around the city. 

„We need to start thinking about the preparations. Tell me again why did you think that hosting a Christmas dinner at our place would be a good idea?” Tyler sighs. 

„There’s still time for everything, stop overthinking.” Josh laughs, kissing the side of his head.

„And the presents! We need to make the list and start buying presents.” He lets go of Josh and stops in the front of the toy store, peeking through the shop window.

„Tyler-” Josh’s voice rings behind his back.

„Your little cousins are the worst. They’re never excited about anything!”

„Tyler...”

„And Madison. What should we get her?”

„Tyler.”

„Do we even have enough chairs to host a-” Tyler turns around and looks at Josh. „-Christmas dinner? Uhm- Josh? W-what are you doing?” He stares with wide eyes at the man, kneeling down before him in the snow. The sight makes him feel lightheaded.

There are gasps of surprise around them and Tyler looks up to see a few people staring at them with curiosity.

„Well...” Josh starts and clears his throat. He takes a deep breath. „I don’t know if you remember but this is where we first met. This is where you stole my wallet and… and my _heart_ and changed my life forever.” He says with a smile, reaching inside the pocket of his jacket. He takes out a small blue velvet box and opens it to reveal a simple silver band. „I love you and I honestly can’t see myself spending the rest of this life with anyone else, so… Will you marry me?” 

Tyler freezes. He stares at his boyfriend for a long while, suddenly forgetting how to breathe. _Josh is proposing. On his birthday. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the street._ He opens his mouth to speak and looks at the older man, who’s still kneeling there with more and more nervous expression on his face.

„What are you waiting for, boy? Just say _yes_ already!” A stranger shouts from the center of the little crowd that has gathered around them and the other voices of encouragement follow shortly after.

He snaps out of his shock, steps closer and drops to his knees in front of Josh, putting his cold hand on his neck and resting their foreheads together. He nods.

„Of course I will marry you.” He says with a grin.

Josh crashes their mouths together, blindly sliding the ring on his finger and the group of strangers starts cheering behind their backs. Tyler laughs against Josh’s lips and even if he’s so overwhelmed that he shares a few tears, his _fiancé_ quickly kisses them away.

„I love you.” Josh says, pulling him up to his feet.

„I love you too.” Tyler smiles and stares at the ring on his finger.

He’s never felt more alive.


End file.
